Phil liveshow - 8 June 2017 - PHIL'S BEAUTY TIPS

[alittledizzy]

[alittledizzy]

:58 - Pretzels are all-American snacks, and Phil is eating them.
2:55 - No dogs at polling station. Anti-dog center.
3:18 - Sneezed while voting, which resulted in a jaunty little cross.
4:10 - Star Lord jacket. This was apparently the start of Dan in the chat, suggesting "Star Buddy" when Phil said he wasn't very Lord-like.
4:44 - Teases us about the secrets in his arm zips.
5:00 - Went back to the gym, did running on running machine. (Brisk jogging.)
5:40 - Podcast called My Dad Wrote a Porno; recommends it for people that are old enough. Awkward, but hilarious.
6:21 - "It's about 'erotic novels.' So, you know, it's about porn."
6:35 - Needs to listen to a serious podcast instead. Or music, but music slows down in his brain when he's exercising.
7:35 - Does not own Kill Bill t-shirts.
8:00 - To Phil it does feel like it's been a year since TATINOF.
8:18 - The Quickening theory.
8:35 - "A lot has happened" (since tatinof)
8:44 - Advice for exam stress.
9:40 - Got a D or E in his Graphics exam, because he was so stressed, and got to do it again and got a better mark.
9:58 - Phil realizes someone asked for advice about exams and he told a story about failing one.
10:36 - GCSEs - graphics, german, geography, religious education. (Emphasizes that they had to do religious education.)
10:53 - Good at ones which involved essays and writing, worse at maths.
11:08 - Did he sing "School's out for the phandom"? lmfao. (If I misheard, someone let me know. I listened to it like five times to figure it out.)
11:50 - Only graduation for university.
11:55 - Doesn't want to talk to us while we're in the shower.
12:05 - Food breakdown; throws a little Phil-style lighthearted shade at people who manufacture What I Ate videos.
12:32 - Asked Greek friend (Wirrow) a question about his souvlaki.
13:13 - "I've got texture issues." Same. (Though I've had fries in a poboy before. Just not in burgers.)
14:17 - Ketchup sandwich. I am also grossed out.
14:32 - Als had pretzels, ginger biscuit, and a banana. "Health. Take that, health."
14:50 - "I've been around a little while."
14:38 - Crisps in lunch box at school, have another one when he got home, a third bag before dinner. three bags a day every day. Seems crazy to him now. (But eating a whole tub of Haribo isn't?)
15:54 - As long as he ate his dinner there was no limit on other food he ate. (Listening to Phil talk about how the cupboard was full of snacks and he had free range at them makes me realize how broke my parents were when I was a kid. Snacks and chips were limited because that shit was expensive.)
16:24 - "Prawn cocktail all the way, mate."
16:29 - Haircut, longer sides. Phil now hairsprays his fringe. Also dry shampoo before you go to sleep.
17:59 - Looks up beauty vlog music. Gives beauty tips while upbeat music plays. (Phil says it sounds like he's traveling with his animals; circus music or Phil's furry harem?)
19:15 - Drink lots of water, stay hydrated. Don't forget to moisturize. Cleanse in the shower, afterwards moisturize. Pro-tip.
19:39 - Got Clinique for Men for Christmas. "Specifically designed for my rugged skin." (Mocking voice.)
20:08 - His little whiny "I <i>can't</i>, it's <i>too loud</i>." is aggressively adorable. I want to punch a kitten.
20:14 - He doesn't want to clean us today.
20:25 - Gendered skincare/beauty products are ridiculous, women's products shouldn't be more expensive because it's the same but smells nicer. "Why is it more expensive to be a girl and need deodorant?"
20:45 - "I'm not cleaning-" he protests as he cleans us. (He giggles so much over this.)
21:06 - Google Autocomplete Game and Arms. (Doesn't love Arms, wants to see if there's a story mode.)
21:35 - Two texts come in back to back.
22:11 - Helix (from Arms) haunts his dreams.
22:36 - Apologizes for not being able to put everyone that voted on boats of goats. Wanted to tweet something about voting that wasn't boring. (Audio goes really muffled briefly.)
23:21 - 'It's Pride parade tomorrow in Tel Aviv, said Millie.' "Hope that's enjoyable."
23:39 - Pulls a Haru with the cake scene.
23:48 - Plushie competition tweets.
24:21 - Doesn't think you can name a dog until you have looked at it, unless you give it a stupid name.
24:30 - Chat asks what is in Phil's vicinity? Pretzels.
35:47 - He exercised today, so he's allowed to eat some pretzels.
24:59 - Also in his vicinity: tv remote, rusty broken '&' sign. (Did it break in the move or was it already broken?)
25:28 - His bedroom isn't small it's just smaller. Sacrificed his space for gaming channel.
25:50 - Doesn't actually spend much time in his room unless he's sleeping, spends more time in the lounge and hanging out. Better for gaming channel to have a bigger room.
26:09 - "Which is good because we're got space to roll around in there... in the office chairs"
26:32 - Not going to be a house tour. Phil is not into house tours.
26:43 - Watched a bit of Human Centipede when he was at someone's house.
27:10 - Anime video with Shawna.
27:33 - Didn't mention YOI.
27:48 - Attack on Titan
28:18 - Legs are aching from the running.
28:29 - Guinea pig/dramatic grandmother story.
30:22 - Watching Line of Duty. (Finished it now.)
31:15 - Steven Universe
31:32 - He's forgotten everything that happened in Riverdale.
31:40 - Houseplants are alive; gave Martyn a houseplant when he moved house.
32:01 - Another text message. Claims they are from his parents - and the bank. (Not even his bank, says it's spam.)
32:42 - Lightning excites him but he's afraid of it.
33:27 - Mentions the LAP video where their hair is standing on end in front of google. Electrical disturbance under the floor.
33:58 - Everyone's bff today.
34:09 - Talking about job interviews; story about being a Christmas temp at WH Smith. Thinks that looking back it's cute how he wore a suit and was excited about his first job interview.
35:15 - Asked about life before the internet; says thanks for making him feel old. Life before texting was hard because you couldn't contact someone if you got separated. People were a lot more punctual back then because you just had to show up, you couldn't facebook them.
36:15 - Old man Phil in his old man rocking chair.
36:29 - He'll be one of the last people that remembers life with no internet, and life with the internet. There for the transition.
37:00 - (He talks about having to use Encarta not google and suddenly I feel older than Phil because I remember using actual Encyclopedias, not a compute rone.)
37:36 - Printed off Encarta page as his homework. Game where you walked around the maze.
38:00 - Animal geek.
38:04- He's been watching Love Island. He didn't want to, it just happened.
38:50 - "My friend" was watching it; Bryony.
40:01 - He couldn't believe there was a tv show where people went to bed together after 24 hours and had to watch it.
40:33 - He used to be obsessed with Big Brother. Used to like watching the interactions.
41:16 - Still likes the interior design of it.
41:40 - New Stranger Things, new Game of Thrones.
41:53 - Koala is most exotic animal he's ever touched. (He cuddled it. He went further than touching it.)
42:26 - Dan is staying up all night to watch the election. Two am is normal bed time for him anyway. Phil was worried he might miss Love Island. (Bc they couldn't just watch separate things?)
42:47 - "I do get addicted to trash." Insert picture of Dan.
42:58 - Dan's birthday on Sunday. "Got him a couple of trinkets." Bought Dan one thing Phil wanted for himself.
43:35 - Some kind of birthday japes will happen.
43:54 - Say happy birthday to Dan on Sunday.
44:14 - Went to a family thing, there was a cat there.
44:49 - Two coffees a day unless they're filming lots of gaming videos.
45:09 - BBQ; only a couple pieces of chicken fell on the floor. Evades giving any details about why they cooked or for who. (Still convinced it was Dan's grandparents.)

[alittledizzy]

Dan and Misc Watch 2017
PHIL’S BEAUTY TIPS (June 8, 2017)

Prompted Dan Mention

43:00 (chat) It’s Dan’s birthday on Sunday
“It is Dan’s birthday on Sunday. I got him a couple of trinkets, I won’t tell you what ‘cause you’ll just go tweet him”
“I did buy him one thing that I wanted for myself, which is something that I usually do for most people's birthdays, it’s just inherently part of who I am, I’m sorry. I do try to find something the person will like, but more often than not, it will be something I’ll also want”
(chat) What are you doing?
“I don’t know, really. Some kind of birthday japes will happen.”

43:50 (chat) Happy Birthday to Dan
“Well, it’s not yet, but say happy birthday to him on Sunday"

Unprompted Dan Mention

42:22 (chat) Are you going to watch the election?
“Yes! Dan was like, ‘I’m gonna stay up all night and watch the election’. I don’t know how long it goes on ’til, I think like 2 in the morning, so that’s just normal bedtime for me anyway.”

Neutral Dan Mention

19:00 “It’s getting a bit DanAndPhilCRAFTS now” (re: disturbing background music)

21:05 “Dan and I have uploaded” the google game
“I really enjoyed playing [Arms] for the Dan vs Phil”
(chat) Who won the Dan vs Phil?
“Go watch it!”
Very funny but frustrating game getting posted tomorrow: “funstrating"
-Rage!Phil rise pls

Miscellaneous

4:10 [thinks of his red jacket as his Star-Lord jacket, but he’s] “more of a Star-Pauper” “I don’t really know what a pauper is”
-lol wow Phil need any help dislodging that silver spoon or nah

5:20 went to the gym again “Did some running on a running machine”

6:45 “I’ve got this weird thing in my brain, the music slows down in my ears and my brain [when listening while jogging]” “Is that weird? Am I accessing some special part of my brain that’s reserved for aliens?”

10:45 “We had to do religious education actually, that was one that they forced upon us. I was quite good at that. I was good at the ones which involved essays and writing where I could be just be a bit like ‘here’s a point, and here’s somebody else’s point’”
-oh so he was good at not outwardly taking a firm stance on topics based on his own convictions? colour me shocked (..jk..)

13:12 “I’ve got texture issues! [with food]”
-SAME

16:40 “However, I’m a bit sweaty. Again. Why do I keep doing sweaty younows?”
-BECAUSE YOU DON’T SEEM TO HAVE THE AIR CONDITIONING PARTLY FOR WHICH YOU MOVED YOUR ENTIRE LIVES TO ALLEGEDLY ACQUIRE WTF

20:10 (chat) Clean us Philly
“You don’t need cleaning today, we’re nice and crystal clear”
20:45 cleans us anyway because peer pressure

23:20 (chat) It’s Pride Parade tomorrow in Tel Aviv
“Hope that’s enjoyable”

23:35 (chat) When is the cake scene being uploaded?
“I don’t know what that is. I’m not even sure what you’re talking about.”

26:30 “There’s not gonna be a house tour. You’re just gonna see bits of the house as it unfolds, I’m not into house tours.”
-'so how about fuck off maybe': just trying to translate

27:10 “I did an anime video with Shawna, which was fun.” “aka Nanalew”

31:40 “My brother moved house, so I gave him a houseplant”

32:40 “Lightning excites me, but I am scared it will hit me in the head."

35:10 (chat) What was life like before the internet?
“Wow, thanks. Just make me feel old. Life before the internet was an unusual time.”
“It was weird, it was hard, you couldn’t iMessage people. I remember life before you could text people” etc.

25:25 (chat) Your room is small
“Oh, my bedroom. My bedroom [isn’t] small, it’s a good size bedroom. It’s just smaller than the giant bedroom I had in the last place. And that’s because- we had a chat- and I sacrificed my space for the gaming channel. ‘Cause the gaming channel room was gonna be my room, and then I was like, ‘I don’t actually spend that much time in my room unless I’m sleeping’ so.. I spend more of my time in the lounge just hanging out. So I thought, well, it would be better for the gaming channel to have a bigger room. So the gaming channel room was gonna be my bedroom, but now it’s the gaming channel room.”

-story checks out. It… literally is his room as he’s renting the flat and decided to pick that room to park a bunch of his shit in. It also… literally has a bed in it, as evidenced.. by the bed in it. It’s his room. It has a bed in it. It kind of sounds like it literally is his bedroom? Weird, right? I don’t know why, but it’s occurred to me out of absolutely nowhere that at every possible opportunity I should roll my eyes and laugh derisively at any mention they make of them being friends. Even though they are friends. Whatever other context exists outside of our purview, they’re definitely friends. Kind of like whatever other context exists outside of our purview, that room is his bedroom? So wild, I know. But maybe scoffing louder than the next person about it will get me something. Just to be sure and clear that I’m someone who won’t be fooled, no sir, nothing gets past me. I laugh in the face of other people setting their own narratives for specific parts of their lives that are held up for public consumption, I laugh at it I tell you. Because I know better. Man, I wonder what the prize is for successfully punching a hole through the tiniest little sheath of personal comfort another person has draped delicately over themselves. Sure hope it’s a good one lmao

Phinal Tally: said ‘Dan’ 8 times
~8/47mins = 0.17 per min