Dan & Phil Part 29: Horton hears two b*tch ass liars

[bluewho]

Is this real life?
Is this just fantasy?

I have to say i'm confused? I don't know why they do this, i don't know what do they want and what is what anymore? Like last week there's the busgate but this week there's this?

+ 900000

[Catallena]

Spooy Week has been saved. YouTube has been saved. 2016 has been saved.

Commentary. This got long so it's under a spoiler.

- Ok but why not say Horrible Halloween? Terrible Halloween sounds pretty shit.
- I'm glad that the horn hoodie didn't get thrown out when Dan donated half his closet to charity, it's my favorite piece of clothing he owns.
- The 'philling' :')
- Dan just exorcised Phil.
- The 'coating' :'D Love how Dan was just staring into space waiting for Phil to get back in the room and then his reaction to Phil's lame pun.
- Phil has to stand in the hallway of shame. As we speak the smut side of the phandom is writing fic where they paused the video a whole lot longer than just 5 minutes.
- PHIL'S FOND FUCKING SMILE WATCHING DAN DANCE AROUND THE KITCHEN.
- 'Do you think anyone's sexually attracted to spiders?' 'Let's not go there right now, put it down.' Phil is asking the real questions while Dan sounds like a tired mum who has to keep asking her toddler to put down toys they can't have while shopping.
- RIP Phil's foot.
- Barry x Phil. Watch Dan's expression, this bitch is jealous of a bowl I shit u not :')
- Dan being weirdly sexual about peanut butter. I don't like peanut butter. Not relatable.
- 'The neighbors are gonna call the police again.' AGAIN? What the shit do you two get up to?
- Phil is fucking dying from laughing at Dan it's adorable.
- Phil feeding Dan peanut butter. 'Disinfect the spoon that Dan licked.' DON'T PLAY BOY, you two have been caught sharing the same drink with one straw.
- 'Teach me daddy.' I'm not gonna say anything. But y'all know what I'm thinking.
- 'Phil is getting bukkaked in the middle of the kitchen' and one second later he's licking the stuff from his fingers.
- 'Hard mode' After the previous two moments, my mind didn't go anywhere Phil meant for it to go.
- 'King of Vanilla' Smut side of the phandom disagrees js.
- Mine and Dan's reactions to Phil's joke were the same lmao.
- So Phil is on that Pumpkin Spice crack. His doctor was right about his drug use after all. *gasp*
- Phil licking the spatula while Dan talks him through it like a porn director.
- Turns out Dan is no good at dirty talk as Phil is just cracking up.
- Dan looking slowly more horrified as Phil's terrible explanation goes on.
- 'Yes we are adults' Sure honey whatever you say.
- I don't trust people who can rip baking paper or cling film all neatly and shit, I'm just as much of a mess is Phil with those things.
- Dan loses it over Phil calling a cakepop thicc. Phil admits he isn't down with the kids.
- 'Take that bread you fucking dick' who keeps bread in the fridge?
- I love Phil's jokes, they're so terrible.
- Dan's reaction to Phil doing the microwave thing also hello thar PINOF feels.
- 'Dr. Oetker more like marry me now' Phil's secret boyfriend everyone!
- Burn baby burn~
- Dumbasses using a bowl that's too small again.
- Dan has moved on from the peanut butter and is now being sexual about chocolate dipping. This I can relate to.
- Wouldn't be a baking video without crotch shots. And they've definitely read about #HandprintGate because they immediately smash all our hopes and dreams by showing who that handprint belongs to.
- Dan wants Phil's ass. Who needs context?
- That next level cake decorating tho.
- Fucking Shrek.
- ...Yeah I'm just gonna bake my cake pops boys, none of this mess.
- 'We've been doing horror games-' HAHAHA THAT'S THE FUNNIEST JOKE YET.
- Some #spon for that glorified scrapbook.

That video was legit so good, it was worth the five days of mediocre content on DAPG

It was so funny and I laughed the whole way through, their chemistry and bantz were on point, they just looked so happy, I love that they kept a lot of little unscripted moments and were just general messes throughout the entire thing. Honestly this might have been the best video of the year. Maybe even my fave baking video out of all of them. /postvideohigh

I wanna rewatch it again and again but I need to sleep. *tear*

Also, if you ever had any doubt that Phil is the baker/cook in that house, watch 12:00-12:27. Dan has no clue how to run that cook top. No wonder it took 10 million years to melt the chocolate. Phil knows his best burner. Listen to him, Dan.

Remember that time Dan did a liveshow while cooking dinner and he had to get Phil because he wasn't able to tell whether the rice was done yet?

[offtopic][/offtopic]

So sick of Evan and some irrelevant af guy (sammy??) and the other salty af youtubers finding any reason / anything to talk about dan and phil or their fans lol

It feels like being at school with them lot.

Why do they feel the need to tweet anything about dan and phil or any irrelevant conversation?

TBH it does make me kinda mad. I hate Evan more than any of them though.

I don't like Evan either, but I hate Jack (and Dean) far more because they're actually 'friends' with D&P. They don't associate with Evan or with Sammy, but they do (for some unknown reason) like J&D enough to hang out with them sometimes even if it's just with other people or at events. And it pisses me off that they continue to be so nasty because D&P don't meet their standards. Their sketches are basic as hell, predictable and not even that funny but ~superior content~. Maybe they're salty because D&P ending Internet Takeover meant the end of their run at BBCR1 as well because no one wanted to keep them muhahaha.

[karma_yeah]

Phil is indeed the one who does the most of the cocking at the dnp household

Dan you shagged yourself an amazing guy

If these were unintentional typos, that is amazing!
(Hi, btw, I'm new and I'm trash )

Welcome! I caught those too. That's the kind of first rate IDB bants we get around here. Classic!

I am legit without words.

like is this real life? did that really happen??

I'm gonna watch it 20 more times until I'm numb and I can post more calmly about it.

Ok, ribena just won't cut it. It's a work night, I'm in the middle of kids coming to my house to trick-or-treat, but watching this video . . . I need !

Speaking of which, is it possible Dan maybe had a few "spirits" himself? When I watched the second time I noticed when he steps on Phil's foot he says "Sorry about that "make" instead of "mate". There were a couple of other places too that I wondered about. Top notch Sassy Dan though, wow!

I totally believe Dan covers himself in food and Phil "feasts"

And "I want your ass!" I'm sure no truer words have come from Dan's mouth.

[karma_yeah]

Sorry to double post, but submission for next thread name: Dan to Phil: I want your ass!

[eevee]

Sorry to double post, but submission for next thread name: Dan to Phil: I want your ass!

I already put that in the thread title suggestion thread!

[Jenny]

I haven't posted here in ages, but did anyone else pause the video to look at whats in their fridge (lol)

I saw they had an Apple sticker on their produce bin, what nerds

But besides that their fridge is pretty boring lol

P.S Happy Halloween!

[pilotlight]

Holy crap! I wasn't expecting a baking vid ("baking"), let alone that. That was a fantastic mess in a very good way.
I am guessing either that can opener is new & different for them or they rarely cook with anything canned. Not that I'm complaining.

I was handing out Halloween candy all evening and, uh, may have sampled a lot of it myself, so I was feeling kind of queasy at the thought of eating those hyper-sugary monster pops. A+ decorating job though, as usual.

Now to go rewatch it a bunch of times to try and actually absorb all of it.

PS: re: Sammy and whoever else on Twitter

[taetaewl]

@starwillow welcome!

About Dan wanting to pouring food all over himself... well didn't phil enjoy eating sushi of off someones body? Wasn't that something he was in to? I guess they are just made for each other huh... wonder what they are usually up to on a Saturday night... I mean Dan did say he would show Phil something about sponges right? .. not like I want to know or anything
side note: Did you guys catch the three green hearts on that dish-washing sponge thingy? Do you reckon they crafted it or bought it cuz it was cute?(I mean they literally bought chocolate golf balls..nerds)

[alittledizzy]

That video was so fucking good.

It felt so warm and real and wonderful. It felt like they were having fun, like they know they're bad at baking but they don't feel any pressure to really be good and they know the video will be well-received even if they are pretty bad (unlike gaming or main channel ventures) so there's a general sense of looseness and them just being themselves, teasing and flirting and bouncing off each other in the best of ways.

I don't think it's fanservice, or an act. They are honestly just that freaking cute. Yes, some of it is branding and things they repeat often, but the looks are real. You can fake that, but its soul sucking and I think they would have quit a long time ago.

Love this, agree with this.

[mysterylovescompany]

- 'Take that bread you fucking dick' who keeps bread in the fridge?

I felt vindicated when I heard Dan say that, because I keep my bread in the fridge! It's because I never eat it fast enough, so it gets mouldy if I keep it in the pantry. It doesn't make a difference when eating, because if I want it warm, I just put it in the toaster or under the grill.

[sweetmm]

Thank you flare & skeletor , I don't watch that show hence I will never get the reference .

[lilMango]

"I want your ass." - Dan Howell to Phil Lester

edit: EEVEE THE FUCKING GLITTER LETTERS IM DYINH

who did it better?

Shut up ok not everyone has the time to go to glitter letter generator.com or whatever the fuck


I feel like I'm bringing the mood down with what I'm about to say so I'll put it under a spoiler because people should be happy rn lol

Im not excited for Dan's liveshow tomorrow. One of two things are going to happen:
1. He's going to talk about some of the things he said in the baking video and #nohomo a lot of it
2. He's gonna glaze over the video and just say "yeah that was a thing, right?" And then talk about anime or TV and act bored for the rest of the hour
Oh, and I can't forget the DAPGO spon. Maybe we'll get a few spoilers
I'm probably just salty about Dan's live shows because he said v bluntly that he would never play piano and it dashed all of my dreams. Oh well

[mermaid blood]

lmfao that was the most enjoyable video they've posted in a long, long time.

i don't even care that it was basically porn, what i liked was that there was minimal jumpy editing and minimal censoring and they overall just appeared to be more relaxed and give less of a shit.

11.00 was my favourite - Dan leaning back to hear Phil's joke and then laughing at it despite himself, and Phil's big grin, was endearing. that dynamic is very sweet.

loved. it.

That video was so fucking good.

It felt so warm and real and wonderful. It felt like they were having fun, like they know they're bad at baking but they don't feel any pressure to really be good and they know the video will be well-received even if they are pretty bad (unlike gaming or main channel ventures) so there's a general sense of looseness and them just being themselves, teasing and flirting and bouncing off each other in the best of ways.

I don't think it's fanservice, or an act. They are honestly just that freaking cute. Yes, some of it is branding and things they repeat often, but the looks are real. You can fake that, but its soul sucking and I think they would have quit a long time ago.

Love this, agree with this.

should've just quoted both these people, more eloquent than what i said.

my feelings right now: if people think they're straight and/or not together, and are fanservicing innuendos, then i hope those people stop watching and commenting because that is honestly so gross to me. how could anyone enjoy that and just turn a blind eye to it? i suppose if queer issues don't apply to you, it might be easier. it's weird though.

because, if they're not together, and especially so if they're not queer, Dan saying 'not yet' and winking about licking something of Phil's is so beyond the pale i can't even. but as his boyfriend, it's hilarious and bratty.

[karma_yeah]

Sorry to double post, but submission for next thread name: Dan to Phil: I want your ass!

I already put that in the thread title suggestion thread!

(high five's you)

One of my fav moments is at 3:00-3:08 ish, Dan throws the icing in the air, says "let's get cooking!" and dances off. Phil watches with warm fondness, then immediately starts stroking the spider he's holding and says "Do you think anyone's sexually attracted to spiders?" Umm, Phil, somethin' on your mind there mate?

It's period. There's really NO other logical explanation. None at all.

Horton def hears two bitch ass liars! -- (and is eternally grateful for this video!!) firmly in place

ps. I understand your angst lilmango, and I won't even say "oh, don't worry, maybe he won't, have hope" yada yada yada. You may be right. The pendulum swings back and forth with them. But don't let that take the beauty of this video away for you. When things go backwards, as they inevitably will, watch this video again and wallow in it. Remember the 'sexually attracted to spiders moment', and remind yourself that no mind, even Phil's, makes a connection like that without context.

[mermaid blood]

ps. I understand your angst lilmango, and I won't even say "oh, don't worry, maybe he won't, have hope" yada yada yada. You may be right. The pendulum swings back and forth with them. But don't let that take the beauty of this video away for you. When things go backwards, as they inevitably will, watch this video again and wallow in it. Remember the 'sexually attracted to spiders moment', and remind yourself that no mind, even Phil's, makes a connection like that without context.

[applauds]

countdown to a spider onsie appearing on one of them.

@starwillow welcome!

About Dan wanting to pouring food all over himself... well didn't phil enjoy eating sushi of off someones body? Wasn't that something he was in to? I guess they are just made for each other huh... wonder what they are usually up to on a Saturday night... I mean Dan did say he would show Phil something about sponges right? .. not like I want to know or anything
side note: Did you guys catch the three green hearts on that dish-washing sponge thingy? Do you reckon they crafted it or bought it cuz it was cute?(I mean they literally bought chocolate golf balls..nerds)

oh! do you have a timecode for the sponge?

the food-on-body thing- for like 2 years people have said they were going to make a compilation of those comments (including myself), so i'll note this one down (it'll never happen, i have no idea how to edit videos). (but maybe someone else will want the list?)

[fakelights]

I am SOOOOOO glad I wasn't going crazy yesterday thinking there would be something more. My hope was worth it, yes!!!

This is probably one of my favorite (or actually my favorite) videos of them this year. What a glorious way to end Spooky Week. I feel blessed

I don't care at all about how on some parts it seemed over the top. In fact, I think it added to the video and made everything better. Agree with Artdefines06, it wasn't fanservice, just them being over the top and cute. Right now I'm almost screaming how much I love them out of the window lmao Loved how excited they were in here and how much they enjoyed making these stupid monster pops (and enjoyed each other's presence ofc )

11 out of 10 enjoyment and filthiness (i was almost expecting some kind of promo for their new channel on pornhub or something at the end instead of dapgo, amazing!)

[taetaewl]

@mermaid blood around 19:04

[bluewho]

Speaking of which, is it possible Dan maybe had a few "spirits" himself? When I watched the second time I noticed when he steps on Phil's foot he says "Sorry about that "make" instead of "mate".

Possible? Yes. But I personally don't think he was intoxicated just because he can be that full of energy/all over the place when he's just being his natural self I've seen it in liveshows at times, and particularly in the company of other people. We know he mumbles so that he mis-said a word is not really indicative of anything in my view. But I guess it's all subjective since we won't ever know whether he was tipsy or whatever unless he tells us, so we can only really go on opinon!

About Dan wanting to pouring food all over himself... well didn't phil enjoy eating sushi of off someones body? Wasn't that something he was in to?

Yes, there was lots of "foodkink" stuff in there if anyone's still keeping a list!

Edit: mermaid blood beat me to some points! Sorry if there's repetition!

[Diyes_Celine]

I don't think it's fanservice, or an act. They are honestly just that freaking cute. Yes, some of it is branding and things they repeat often, but the looks are real. You can fake that, but its soul sucking and I think they would have quit a long time ago.

The video reminded me of DINOF's "How to Make British Pancakes." It's so over the top but genuine.

[Philena]

Jesus, guys! Wtf was that?! I can't even wipe the stupid grin from my face.

Best Halloween ever!

Shout out to eevee, kuensukki, and Catallena for some time stamps. I was laughing along to your commentary.

[theguppyone]

I had to physically walk away from my laptop after Dan's "Let's not go there right now, Phil. Put it down." It was just too precious. This video had just enough normal moments left in, like Phil's laughing to himself about the Barry the Bowl. This is my kind of content!!!

[kuensukki]

Found this disgustingly accurate representation of me rn:



Credits to: https://adziedoodle.tumblr.com/

[starlight-still]

So the Deppy Horror Baking Show. What a glorious surprise. They really threw us off with the “maybe Christmas” baking comment in one of their ls (I forget which) and the very vague “oh, we might do something on Halloween.” Then they dropped this beauty. My. Goodness. I was not ready.

I’m just…I’m just gonna do like everyone else and lay out some favorites while I process this:

- Even the beginning is perfect with the lights off and Dan softly counting down.
- Dan: Halloween is supposed to be the occasion of spooking and misery Me: And shamelessly flirting with your bf apparently
- Dan calls what they make the “Phil-ing” then proceeds to moan sexually about it for twenty minutes and then says he had a literal orgasm at the end when he puts it in his mouth. Just let that one sit with you for a moment.
- They made their own little pumpkin spice omg you know Phil makes them lattes with it every day
- What he (Dan) says: Is that why you went to the other side of the house? What he means: Why u leave meh boo?
- “Phil Lester” Dan in stern teacher mode. What exactly went down during that five minute time out?
- Daniel just. Wow. His moans and groans I mean he just went for it. When he said “let’s get cooking” the sheepish downward glance and spider comment was basically Phil-language for “schwing!”
- Phil joking about the Barry fic and Dan’s reaction
- Basically their reactions to each other’s jokes the entire video
- “Anticipation is key” Phil dis you: (really though, check the little grin in the corner)
- Phil: Hard mode, hard mode (moves bowl while Dan tries to put the milk in). Stop being so fucking cute you two.
- Phil tossing things and catching them is one of my favorite things
- Dan (puts up hood): Now I’m horneeee. Everyone watching: No shit Sherlock.
- It takes approximately seven and a half minutes for Phil to catch Dan’s innuenza
- Phil peering at Dan through the phone camera like he’s beholding a precious work of art.
- The whole “rollin rollin rollin”/phat/thicc exchange /
- Dan calling the bread a fucking dick and Phil laughing with abandon
- Them playfully throwing things at each other the whole video.
- Phil being like “I was expecting them to be a bit smoother but…they have heart. We put our heart and soul into them.”
- Phil’s bedroom eyes at 17:38 I hope you’re ready Daniel
- Phil’s little designs were actually quite creative
- Phil den get the quoosh den
- Phil laughing unreservedly at Dan’s orgasm comment
- Dan: I would eat me any day of the week. Phil: Me too, Dan. Me too.

I almost wrote on my Twitter “If they ain’t f*cking tho” because that was my honest immediate reaction after seeing this.

Found this disgustingly accurate representation of me rn:



Credits to: https://adziedoodle.tumblr.com/

Yeah that about sums it up.

[anathema]

That video was... interesting. I feel like it was 50% fanservice, 50% them breaking their (p word warning) personas, and like a shit-ton of innuendoes. Literally 4 minutes in I texted my friend saying I felt like it was a "satire fanservice (hell) dimension" and I have to say it I still feel that way. I can't say I didn't like it though? Idk. Also I absolutely loved Phil in it? (I say that as if I don't love him normally.) He had so many great one-liners, such as "the neighbors are gonna call the police again" (again?!) and “and you get to start fire which is dangerous... and fun” he is just so cute :,)

Keep the DAPGO spoilers coming, no way I'm spending $20 on that "book".

[mermaid blood]

the police calling: I'm having a recollection but I can't place it. i'm sure we've heard them say the neighbours called the police before? was it not said on the radioshow last year? and the same thing happened, everyone wanted to know why but we never got follow up. am i hallucinating or does someone else remember?

@mermaid blood around 19:04

thank you! that is a very cute sponge. damn them, even their sponges are cute.

So the Deppy Horror Baking Show. What a glorious surprise. They really threw us off with the “maybe Christmas” baking comment in one of their ls (I forget which) and the very vague “oh, we might do something on Halloween.” Then they dropped this beauty. My. Goodness. I was not ready.

I’m just…I’m just gonna do like everyone else and lay out some favorites while I process this:

- Even the beginning is perfect with the lights off and Dan softly counting down.
- Dan: Halloween is supposed to be the occasion of spooking and misery Me: And shamelessly flirting with your bf apparently
- Dan calls what they make the “Phil-ing” then proceeds to moan sexually about it for twenty minutes and then says he had a literal orgasm at the end when he puts it in his mouth. Just let that one sit with you for a moment.
- They made their own little pumpkin spice omg you know Phil makes them lattes with it every day
- What he (Dan) says: Is that why you went to the other side of the house? What he means: Why u leave meh boo?
- “Phil Lester” Dan in stern teacher mode. What exactly went down during that five minute time out?
- Daniel just. Wow. His moans and groans I mean he just went for it. When he said “let’s get cooking” the sheepish downward glance and spider comment was basically Phil-language for “schwing!”
- Phil joking about the Barry fic and Dan’s reaction
- Basically their reactions to each other’s jokes the entire video
- “Anticipation is key” Phil dis you: (really though, check the little grin in the corner)
- Phil: Hard mode, hard mode (moves bowl while Dan tries to put the milk in). Stop being so fucking cute you two.
- Phil tossing things and catching them is one of my favorite things
- Dan (puts up hood): Now I’m horneeee. Everyone watching: No shit Sherlock.
- It takes approximately seven and a half minutes for Phil to catch Dan’s innuenza
- Phil peering at Dan through the phone camera like he’s beholding a precious work of art.
- The whole “rollin rollin rollin”/phat/thicc exchange /
- Dan calling the bread a fucking dick and Phil laughing with abandon
- Them playfully throwing things at each other the whole video.
- Phil being like “I was expecting them to be a bit smoother but…they have heart. We put our heart and soul into them.”
- Phil’s bedroom eyes at 17:38 I hope you’re ready Daniel
- Phil’s little designs were actually quite creative
- Phil den get the quoosh den
- Phil laughing unreservedly at Dan’s orgasm comment
- Dan: I would eat me any day of the week. Phil: Me too, Dan. Me too.

I almost wrote on my Twitter “If they ain’t f*cking tho” because that was my honest immediate reaction after seeing this.

"innuenza"

I agree, that is Phil's language for 'schwing'. I'm not sure what the words are, but I know I'm seeing him deflect from something when he does it. reminds me of last year's moment, when he gave him the up-and-down wearing Phil's halloween jumper. Barry the Bowl fic, thicc, Phil squinting at Dan through the phone, Phil's cool pop designs, Phil laughing without reserve at Filth Brat - I think Philip stole the show for me on this one. (but filth brat was fucking cute too)