Dan & Phil Part 12: Stalking him until he loves you

[wtfamidoinghere]

Quick question - has anybody (else) been in a relationship they've kept quiet, for whatever reason?

Not me personally, but one of my close friends did. Not anymore because she came out to everyone, but yeah.

[offtopic]I had a friend in a "secret" relationship too. Most of our friends knew, but generally she had to keep it quiet, because her parents are very homophobic (still a shock to me. I knew them as very kind and open people untill i heard that).
Her girlfriend was out and not too happy about being a secret and my friend herself hated it too. I think that's what ruined the relationship and my friend went back to dating a guy and now this is oddly treated like a secret.
I don't know if she's gay or bi or whatever, but i'm sure she's not straight and it breaks my heart to watch her deny it not only to people around her, but also to herself. It's like she's trying to erase that part of her past and, in extension, a part of herself.
We're not really friends anymore, because i didn't like how she treated her girlfriend and i also believe that she has her parents' homophobia internalised (and that's why she's in denial about herself), but i still wish she'd accept herself more [/offtopic]
So yeah. Unfortunately not every secret relationship works out. That's part of why i'd really admire 's relationship, if it's a romantic one. Or even if it's platonic, who am i kidding?

[eevee]

Does any1 here (besides myself) think that the open relationship thing can possibly be real with Phan? (don't kill me I'm already dead inside)

I don't think D&P would be in an open relationship tbh. They just seem too into each other for that. And they don't seem super progressive, but then again they don't seem conservative either, they've mentioned nothing about politics really.

Dan's mentioned things about politics (and there's a handy thread to peruse compiling all of their comments) and sounds pretty progressive to me. Although what progressiveness has to do with the likelihood of an open relationship (when we're talking a same-sex relationship to begin with) I don't quite get.

I would say no to them having an open relationship only because that seems like too much work for them (as well as the hints of jealousy from Dan) so I don't think they'd handle it well, or want to.

I guess a more socially progressive person would be more keen on open relationships? that's the only connection I meant, but obviously there are exceptions to everything. For example, I'm politically conservative yet socially liberal and I am fine with open relationships. And oh, sorry I guess I missed that Dan has mentioned politics before. Compared to youtubers like Lex Croucher Dan and Phil are very quiet about politics or political issues in my opinion.

[NarrysCanary]

Does any1 here (besides myself) think that the open relationship thing can possibly be real with Phan? (don't kill me I'm already dead inside)

I don't think D&P would be in an open relationship tbh. They just seem too into each other for that. And they don't seem super progressive, but then again they don't seem conservative either, they've mentioned nothing about politics really.

Dan's mentioned things about politics (and there's a handy thread to peruse compiling all of their comments) and sounds pretty progressive to me. Although what progressiveness has to do with the likelihood of an open relationship (when we're talking a same-sex relationship to begin with) I don't quite get.

I would say no to them having an open relationship only because that seems like too much work for them (as well as the hints of jealousy from Dan) so I don't think they'd handle it well, or want to.

I guess a more socially progressive person would be more keen on open relationships? that's the only connection I meant, but obviously there are exceptions to everything. For example, I'm politically conservative yet socially liberal and I am fine with open relationships. And oh, sorry I guess I missed that Dan has mentioned politics before. Compared to youtubers like Lex Croucher Dan and Phil are very quiet about politics or political issues in my opinion.

On the topic of open relationship, in a liveshow once they talked about marrying several people and Phil said it was illegal and Dan argued that it was not. I don't what it says about their views on open marriage but it's still something.

edit : And I don't think Dan's jealousy would work in open relationships ?

[deerly]

Quick question - has anybody (else) been in a relationship they've kept quiet, for whatever reason?

I've managed to keep my relationship with a girl secret (for ~3 years) from my extremely homophobic grandparents even though it was my gran who caught us kissing w hands under each others shirts once, but she was so willing to believe any bullshit about how it was an accident/we were just joking (wat??) because she just wanted me to be straight so bad. On the other hand my mum, who is more open to the idea of me being in a relationship with a woman doesn't believe any of that crap and she is always able to see right through me when I'm with my partners even though we don't kiss or touch at all in front of her. She just sees it somehow. Same with the homophobic classmates/acquaintances, they see hetero as default option so it's not hard for them to bend reality and ignore any evidences just to avoid cognitive dissonance, I don't even have to do any work proving my non-existent heterosexuality, they convince themselves. And my queer squad can always tell who's dating who etc.
Hope this oversharing fest helped haha

[lonely trash]

[offtopic]I had a friend in a "secret" relationship too. Most of our friends knew, but generally she had to keep it quiet, because her parents are very homophobic (still a shock to me. I knew them as very kind and open people untill i heard that).
Her girlfriend was out and not too happy about being a secret and my friend herself hated it too. I think that's what ruined the relationship and my friend went back to dating a guy and now this is oddly treated like a secret.
I don't know if she's gay or bi or whatever, but i'm sure she's not straight and it breaks my heart to watch her deny it not only to people around her, but also to herself. It's like she's trying to erase that part of her past and, in extension, a part of herself.
We're not really friends anymore, because i didn't like how she treated her girlfriend and i also believe that she has her parents' homophobia internalised (and that's why she's in denial about herself), but i still wish she'd accept herself more [/offtopic]
So yeah. Unfortunately not every secret relationship works out. That's part of why i'd really admire 's relationship, if it's a romantic one. Or even if it's platonic, who am i kidding?

[offtopic](Oh cool, this is a thing! I probably could've lived without this knowledge because now I'm going to abuse it)

That's awful, I really feel for her girlfriend, it must be a pretty awful situation and I can see how quickly a relationship like that could fall apart.

I know how she feels though, to be honest. I came out to my parents once, I took it back almost immediately because my mom was crying and my dad was so obviously enraged. It scared me to death. It doesn't really matter right now because I'm in a long-term relationship with a man, but it has me worried about what could happen in the future. I think I've softened the blow to my mom a little, though. I'm always going on about LGBT rights in detail, and it seems as though she's starting to be a bit more understanding. Hopefully if need be I can be open with her and not hurt my hypothetical future girlfriend. [/offtopic]

I got way too into my thoughts there.

[SquishPhan]

edit : And I don't think Dan's jealousy would work in open relationships ?

That right there is the biggest reason why I don't believe that are in an open relationship. I really can't see Dan being happy that another peson is getting lots of attention from Phil.
Plus it probably would be too much work for them.

[eevee]

edit : And I don't think Dan's jealousy would work in open relationships ?

That right there is the biggest reason why I don't believe that are in an open relationship. I really can't see Dan being happy that another peson is getting lots of attention from Phil.
Plus it probably would be too much work for them.

I second this

Also it'd be really complicated for a third party to be trusted, someone they find on tinder or whatever could secretly know who they are and out them...

[Cora]

Oh, it's it time for the "is phan real?"/bisexuality cycle already? Seems like barely a topic thread ago.

And just to play devils advocate, it doesn't strictly and exclusively require D&P confiding in a friend, associate, or stranger that they are or are not in fact together.
A content creator that barely knows them may be able to say with certainty that they are not together quite easily by one fact: they observed them with a behind-the-scenes significant other.

For example:
"Dan and Phil are not together."
"How would you know? You're not friends with them, you're some stranger. It's not like they're gonna whisper in your ear during dinner that they're lovers."
"Well, I turned a corner in the backstage hallway at the convention center and saw Phil making out with the Flipside manager so..."

[eevee]

For example:
"Dan and Phil are not together."
"How would you know? You're not friends with them, you're some stranger. It's not like they're gonna whisper in your ear during dinner that they're lovers."
"Well, I turned a corner in the backstage hallway at the convention center and saw Phil making out with the Flipside manager so..."

[Cora]

.double your pleasure, double your post.

[gnostic]

Supremely closeted same sex relationship (living in Russia) AND an open relationship here, suddenly my personal life is extremely relevant to the topic on hand

I'd opine whether Dan and Phil could be in an open relationship but I don't think phan is real XD

Actually even if I believed i still would say no

[DryCereal]

Not so long ago were being called unhealthily co-dependant. Now we're discussing the possibility of them being in an open relationship.

We need that DINOF vid.

[NarrysCanary]

When did Dan say he was going to film his video ?

[coffee pig]

For example:
"Dan and Phil are not together."
"How would you know? You're not friends with them, you're some stranger. It's not like they're gonna whisper in your ear during dinner that they're lovers."
"Well, I turned a corner in the backstage hallway at the convention center and saw Phil making out with the Flipside manager so..."

I thought we agreed that Dan was the one was having a secret relationship with the Flipside manager tho

[confusedpanda]

[offtopic]so we now know why 'the stalking him till he loves you' vine was removed.

looks like someone was doing a bit of Lurking...[/offtopic]

[corn flakes]

Quick question - has anybody (else) been in a relationship they've kept quiet, for whatever reason?

I know that this forum moves so fast that it's already off topic:

Yes, I've have been in one. I was 17/18 and he was 18/19 and he was a childhood friend. I simply didn't wanna be bothered by my family, that it's well meaning and generally ok but while it claimes to be pretty "liberal" (can't find another word) is quite nosey, so by association I didn't explicetely told some other people, the few ones that knew where mostly his or common friends. But I'm someone that is needy but also needs it's own buble of solitude.

[SquishPhan]

Not so long ago were being called unhealthily co-dependant. Now we're discussing the possibility of them being in an open relationship.

We need that DINOF vid.

I definitely lean more towards unhealthily co-dependency with , than an open relationship.
Let's hope we'll get that vid soon.

When did Dan say he was going to film his video ?

If it all went to plan, then he filmed his video yesterday.

[majitzu]

I just chek the boys schedule and they have 6 days staright of tour . I feel tired only thinking about it

[aralik]

Not so long ago were being called unhealthily co-dependant. Now we're discussing the possibility of them being in an open relationship.

We need that DINOF vid.

YES we do

When did Dan say he was going to film his video ?

he was supposed to film it yesterday but i would not be surprised if he actually didn't do it, i dunno i'm well trained, my expectations live underground

[offtopic]so we now know why 'the stalking him till he loves you' vine was removed.

looks like someone was doing a bit of Lurking...[/offtopic]

wow, the arms that reach are loooong this emoji but without the smile

[bluebox-away]

[offtopic]so we now know why 'the stalking him till he loves you' vine was removed.

looks like someone was doing a bit of Lurking...[/offtopic]

Interesting.. do we think it's just because this one clip got popular so they noticed it being shared, or specifically because of what Dan says in it? It's hard to know what other spoiler snippets they've seen and decided not to copyright claim
Either that or they lurk here and just see the stuff we go on about
Good thing I downloaded that Vine though, maybe we should add a copy to the DD?

[NarrysCanary]

When did Dan say he was going to film his video ?

he was supposed to film it yesterday but i would not be surprised if he actually didn't do it, i dunno i'm well trained, my expectations live underground

Same

[Lain]

Good thing I downloaded that Vine though, maybe we should add a copy to the DD?

It was added to the DD, thankfully.

[chloek88]

Quick question - has anybody (else) been in a relationship they've kept quiet, for whatever reason?

since we're lightyears offtopic, yeah, i have. I'm bi and was with a girl for a while in my senior year of high school. we were at a catholic all-girls school in a super conservative town, so we kept it totally under wraps at school and told neither of our semi-closeminded parents. mine eventually found out through unfortunate circumstances and it was a shitshow. wasn't allowed to have her over anymore, drove a huge wedge between my mom and i for some time, it was bad. our close friends all knew though, pretty much from the very beginning.

also, as a fellow 1d fan and lowkey larry shipper, larries make me feel SO much more confident about phan and so much more comfortable/relieved shipping phan. it puts into perspective how as a fandom, d&p fans are passionate, sure, but far less invasive and delusional. i like larry aesthetically and conceptually, but have no investment in proving it was/is real...the lengths larries go to try and prove absurd things is mindboggling. it gives all shippers a bad name, tbh, since it's such a large ship. they are constantly reaching for impossible truths, whereas with phan i feel like we don't have to reach at all, they just hand little pieces of the puzzle to us.

I just chek the boys schedule and they have 6 days of tour . I feel tired only thinking about it

agreed, their schedule is so bonkers. i don't know how they do it. they seemed way more worn out on the UK tour than they do on this one though. even physically, they're looking healthier than they did by this time on their uk tour. i think it may have to do with the fact that they seem to spend a lot of time with just one another and head straight to their bus the moment each show ends. sure, they aren't part of the merch/crew squad and maybe that comes across as standoffish to us, but it seems like it's keeping them sane, energized and healthy.

[greatnessflicker]

also, as a fellow 1d fan and lowkey larry shipper, larries make me feel SO much more confident about phan and so much more comfortable/relieved shipping phan. it puts into perspective how as a fandom, d&p fans are passionate, sure, but far less invasive and delusional. i like larry aesthetically and conceptually, but have no investment in proving it was/is real...the lengths larries go to try and prove absurd things is mindboggling. it gives all shippers a bad name, tbh, since it's such a large ship. they are constantly reaching for impossible truths, whereas with phan i feel like we don't have to reach at all, they just hand little pieces of the puzzle to us.

same! when i found out about the valentine's day video, I couldn't believe it. To actually ship something where there was concrete, definitive proof on the level of an actual video professing actual love? it sounded like the stuff of dreams compared to the old, handsy x-factor videos I was scrapping together.

sorry you had to go through that in your youth, chloek88.

[fancybum]

Interesting.. do we think it's just because this one clip got popular so they noticed it being shared, or specifically because of what Dan says in it? It's hard to know what other spoiler snippets they've seen and decided not to copyright claim
Either that or they lurk here and just see the stuff we go on about
Good thing I downloaded that Vine though, maybe we should add a copy to the DD?

A little from column A, a little from column B..

They don't have to lurk here to have seen it though, it was all over twitter & tumblr too. Are there a lot of videos like that floating around? Like vines or whatever of the show? Because they did take down that full audio recording from the UK shows, didn't they? So at least there's precedent for them being serious about spoilers. But if there are a lot of clips of that length floating around and they only struck that one down.. I mean it probably was just because it was getting a lot of attention, but while they're at it they should probably strike a few more down too... for reasons.

(Of course if there aren't really any others, then whatever, nothing to read into but if there ARE.. better keep the strikes coming).