Dan & Phil Part 9: The most fun we've ever had

[spaceguitar]

As far as I know this is not a romantic thing. I went on the maid of the mist when I visited Niagara Falls with my family. I don't think pink rain jackets = romance.

[DryCereal]

This evening's pics, added with the thread title just gave me an overwhelming case of the warm and fuzzies. I think I've got something in my eye...!

[majitzu]

As far as I know this is not a romantic thing. I went on the maid of the mist when I visited Niagara Falls with my family. I don't think pink rain jackets = romance.

Is only the description of the cruise is very couple oriented and that makes everything funny. But yeah this doesn't mean anything.

[blueapple_x]

[coffee pig]

Yay, Shitty Watercolour ships it. I mean yeah, obviously going to Niagra Falls together doesn't automatically mean romance, but the picture of them looking like my gay uncles going on holiday, paired with the gay couple emoji and the innuendo is all too much.

[blueapple_x]

Anyone know what vlog/snapchat/etc this is from?

[Ablissa]

I had no idea that he ships it! I adore this guy, this is fantastic news

[DryCereal]

Anyone know what vlog/snapchat/etc this is from?

Add in Louise on Dan's other side...!

[oqua]

Apparently during times of content drought I am only capable of shitposting. Anyway, here goes:

First, thank you to everyone who read my phanfic and commented such incredibly nice things! You made my night/day/week! (Also thanks to those of you who left comments and kudos on ao3, including the lurkers. ) I’m so happy you all enjoyed it. I laughed the whole time I was writing it and I'm glad it made you guys laugh too.

Also, I want to say that I tried to make the ending a bit ambiguous as to whether they’d actually had food/sauce sex before, but in reality I’m like 99% sure they have. lmao

Here is a compilation of all the times they’ve talked about food/syrup/honey/butter/sauce/etc. on a naked body.
(Please note how remarkably consistent they are. Dan is always the one with food on his body and Phil is always the one who eats it. )

Food kink compilation

Phil: “Would you let someone eat smushed jaffa cakes off your naked body?”
Dan: “Yeah.”
Phil: “You don’t like jaffa cakes.”
Dan: [laughs] “That’s a good point.” (2010)

0:20 -

Dan: “Clavicle fetishism just isn’t something I get. Like what do you want to do, lick toffee sauce out of it?” (2012)

0:10 -

Phil: “If you guess it quicker than Dan you win…a house!”
Dan: “A house or any prize in the entire universe of your choice. Anything. Apart from me laid on your dining table covered in sushi.” (2012)

2:30 -

[regarding the batter mixture]:
Dan: [sings] “I wanna pour it all over my naked body…” (2015)

7:15 -

[regarding butter]
Dan: “The rest is for rubbing on my nipples after this is over. I’m sorry.”

[regarding the mixture of sugar/butter/molasses]
Phil: “Now this does not look appealing.”
Dan: “Really? Oh my god, I wanna bathe in that!”
Phil: “Really?”
Dan: “Yeah, how ‘bout you?” (2015)

6:48 & 8:27 respectively -

Dan: “What’s like, food that’s fun to make?”
Phil: *eyes light up* “Sushi, that you eat off someone’s body…”
Dan: …
Phil: “I don’t think you can do that in the Sims. But it’s fun.”
Dan: “Maybe just some oatmeal.” (2015)

3:35 -

Dan: “A caramel waterfall! Yeah I wanna expose my nipples to that.” (2015)

3:30 -

Dan: [to Chimbot] “Are you thinking of me naked in a jacuzzi covered in rose petals and maple syrup?” (2016)

6:17 -

Dan: “What marriage is like ‘Hey, wanna get smothered in honey by strangers for $4000?’”
Phil: “Yeah.”
Dan: “Maybe a great relationship that knows exactly what they want.”
Phil: “Perhaps.” (2016)

9:46 -

Phil: “I’ll eat anything. I’ll eat sushi, off…a human. If it’s on offer.” (2016)

2:47 -

And last but not least (lol)...

Phil: “‘Papyrus dabs marinara sauce behind his ear.’ Now we’re talking!”
Dan: …
Phil: “Just have a little tomatoe-y lick?” (2016)

20:55 -

Second, welcome danisnotonfire and PhilTrashNumber1, whoever you guys may be.

By the way, if anyone took offense at the idea that Dan would use capitalization in his username, let me explain: I did put a fair amount of thought into how I would spell/capitalize it. Obviously when you're saying the username out loud, you would just say the words "Phil trash number one"; the spelling and capitalization wouldn't be evident. So if you like, you can just believe that his username is actually “philtrash#1” or something.

Or you can read this little epilogue fic I wrote to explain it :

[The scene: Dan and Phil are on their kitchen floor, surrounded by empty sauce jars. If you like, you can imagine them doing cute things as they talk like running their fingers through each other’s sauce-filled hair, idk]

“You don’t actually mind that I made an account, do you?” Dan asks.
“No. It’s fine.” Phil pauses. “Just as long as you don’t do anything, like, obvious, okay?”
“Phil, you’re crushing all my dreams. I was going to make an introduction post saying, ‘Hello, Phan is real, here’s a video of me and Phil having sex.’” He glances at Phil, eyebrows raised. “I’m not a fucking idiot.”
“No, I know you’re not. Just, like…you know.”
Dan rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, Phil. If I ever post anything I’ll be very subtle. And even if I came right out and said I was Dan Howell, they’d never believe it was me.”
“Why not?”
“Because. I took precautionary measures."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, I capitalized the first letter of each word in my username. They know the real danisnotonfire would never do that."
Phil laughs. "You really expect them to think about it that deeply?"
“I know for a fact they'll think about it that deeply.”
“Dan Howell, master of disguise.”
“You know I am. And Phil?”
“Hm?”
“If I ever do post, I promise I’ll let you pour, I dunno, maple syrup on my head.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that.”
“Yeah, and then we can have sex with it. Sound good?”
Phil gives him a look. “Sounds good.”
“Cool.”

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6767239

Thirdly, we may not be getting any new videos right now, but we are getting tons of adorable photos, and I am living for them. Deppy are looking fine.

And finally, thank you Vincentian for coming through with the squishy Dan footage. You have made all us poor Vessel-less folks very happy.

I'll never get over how community-mined everyone here is; it’s so nice.

[alittledizzy]

As far as I know this is not a romantic thing. I went on the maid of the mist when I visited Niagara Falls with my family. I don't think pink rain jackets = romance.

This is just like everything else Dan and Phil do, though - yes, each isolated event can be no-homo'd away but when you add things up the pattern paints a picture that isn't actually that far-reaching. Both of them tweeting about it means it had significance to them enough that they want to share, Dan using the gay couple emoji when he knows what it means is a pleasant sign that he's past needing to over-explain every detail, and the innuendo in the instagram caption just feels like a fond/cheeky wink at his audience. So sure, pink rain jackets don't equal romance, but I think most people are looking past just "pink rain jackets" when they're being slightly happy and mushy about it.

[corn flakes]

Ok after same research I didn't find anything apart from this...

The photo was lovely but they should time their tweets better, I also want hobbit Dan.

Vincentian

EDIT:does anyone follow joey?

[DryCereal]

Dan needs more oversized jumpers. Just... yes.

Or you can read this little epilogue fic I wrote to explain it :

[The scene: Dan and Phil are on their kitchen floor, surrounded by empty sauce jars. If you like, you can imagine them doing cute things as they talk like running their fingers through each other’s sauce-filled hair, idk]

“You don’t actually mind that I made an account, do you?” Dan asks.
“No. It’s fine.” Phil pauses. “Just as long as you don’t do anything, like, obvious, okay?”
“Phil, you’re crushing all my dreams. I was going to make an introduction post saying, ‘Hello, Phan is real, here’s a video of me and Phil having sex.’” He glances at Phil, eyebrows raised. “I’m not a fucking idiot.”
“No, I know you’re not. Just, like…you know.”
Dan rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, Phil. If I ever post anything I’ll be very subtle. And even if I came right out and said I was Dan Howell, they’d never believe it was me.”
“Why not?”
“Because. I took precautionary measures."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, I capitalized the first letter of each word in my username. They know the real danisnotonfire would never do that."
Phil laughs. "You really expect them to think about it that deeply?"
“I know for a fact they'll think about it that deeply.”
“Dan Howell, master of disguise.”
“You know I am. And Phil?”
“Hm?”
“If I ever do post, I promise I’ll let you pour, I dunno, maple syrup on my head.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that.”
“Yeah, and then we can have sex with it. Sound good?”
Phil gives him a look. “Sounds good.”
“Cool.”

You.... I could smush you with hugs right now.

[SquishPhan]

oqua your whole post is just pure gold. Love the little epilogue.

As far as I know this is not a romantic thing. I went on the maid of the mist when I visited Niagara Falls with my family. I don't think pink rain jackets = romance.

This is just like everything else Dan and Phil do, though - yes, each isolated event can be no-homo'd away but when you add things up the pattern paints a picture that isn't actually that far-reaching. Both of them tweeting about it means it had significance to them enough that they want to share, Dan using the gay couple emoji when he knows what it means is a pleasant sign that he's past needing to over-explain every detail, and the innuendo in the instagram caption just feels like a fond/cheeky wink at his audience. So sure, pink rain jackets don't equal romance, but I think most people are looking past just "pink rain jackets" when they're being slightly happy and mushy about it.

Yes to all of this.

[galaxies]

Apparently during times of content drought I am only capable of shitposting. Anyway, here goes:

First, thank you to everyone who read my phanfic and commented such incredibly nice things! You made me night/day/week! (Also thanks to those of you who left comments and kudos on ao3, including the lurkers. ) I’m so happy you all enjoyed it. I laughed the whole time I was writing it and I'm glad it made you guys laugh too.

Also, I want to say that I tried to make the ending a bit ambiguous as to whether they’d actually had food/sauce sex before, but in reality I’m like 99% sure they have. lmao

Here is a compilation of all the times they’ve talked about food/syrup/honey/butter/sauce/etc. on a naked body.
(Please note how remarkably consistent they are. Dan is always the one with food on his body and Phil is always the one who eats it. )
Food kink compilation

Phil: “Would you let someone eat smushed jaffa cakes off your naked body?”
Dan: “Yeah.”
Phil: “You don’t like jaffa cakes.”
Dan: [laughs] “That’s a good point.” (2010)

0:20 -

Dan: “Clavicle fetishism just isn’t something I get. Like what do you want to do, lick toffee sauce out of it?” (2012)

0:10 -

Phil: “If you guess it quicker than Dan you win…a house!”
Dan: “A house or any prize in the entire universe of your choice. Anything. Apart from me laid on your dining table covered in sushi.” (2012)

2:30 -

[regarding the batter mixture]:
Dan: [sings] “I wanna pour it all over my naked body…” (2015)

7:15 -

[regarding butter]
Dan: “The rest is for rubbing on my nipples after this is over. I’m sorry.”

[regarding the mixture of sugar/butter/molasses]
Phil: “Now this does not look appealing.”
Dan: “Really? Oh my god, I wanna bathe in that!”
Phil: “Really?”
Dan: “Yeah, how ‘bout you?” (2015)

6:48 & 8:27 respectively -

Dan: “What’s like, food that’s fun to make?”
Phil: *eyes light up* “Sushi, that you eat off someone’s body…”
Dan: …
Phil: “I don’t think you can do that in the Sims. But it’s fun.”
Dan: “Maybe just some oatmeal.” (2015)

3:35 -

Dan: “A caramel waterfall! Yeah I wanna expose my nipples to that.” (2015)

3:30 -

Dan: [to Chimbot] “Are you thinking of me naked in a jacuzzi covered in rose petals and maple syrup?” (2016)

6:17 -

Dan: “What marriage is like ‘Hey, wanna get smothered in honey by strangers for $4000?’”
Phil: “Yeah.”
Dan: “Maybe a great relationship that knows exactly what they want.”
Phil: “Perhaps.” (2016)

9:46 -

Phil: “I’ll eat anything. I’ll eat sushi, off…a human. If it’s on offer.” (2016)

2:47 -

And last but not least (lol)...

Phil: “‘Papyrus dabs marinara sauce behind his ear.’ Now we’re talking!”
Dan: …
Phil: “Just have a little tomatoe-y lick?” (2016)

20:55 -

Second, welcome danisnotonfire and PhilTrashNumber1, whoever you guys may be.

By the way, if anyone took offense at the idea that Dan would use capitalization in his username, let me explain: I did put a fair amount of thought into how I would spell/capitalize it. Obviously when you're saying the username out loud, you would just say the words "Phil trash number one"; the spelling and capitalization wouldn't be evident. So if you like, you can just believe that his username is actually “philtrash#1” or something.

Or you can read this little epilogue fic I wrote to explain it :

[The scene: Dan and Phil are on their kitchen floor, surrounded by empty sauce jars. If you like, you can imagine them doing cute things as they talk like running their fingers through each other’s sauce-filled hair, idk]

“You don’t actually mind that I made an account, do you?” Dan asks.
“No. It’s fine.” Phil pauses. “Just as long as you don’t do anything, like, obvious, okay?”
“Phil, you’re crushing all my dreams. I was going to make an introduction post saying, ‘Hello, Phan is real, here’s a video of me and Phil having sex.’” He glances at Phil, eyebrows raised. “I’m not a fucking idiot.”
“No, I know you’re not. Just, like…you know.”
Dan rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, Phil. If I ever post anything I’ll be very subtle. And even if I came right out and said I was Dan Howell, they’d never believe it was me.”
“Why not?”
“Because. I took precautionary measures."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, I capitalized the first letter of each word in my username. They know the real danisnotonfire would never do that."
Phil laughs. "You really expect them to think about it that deeply?"
“I know for a fact they'll think about it that deeply.”
“Dan Howell, master of disguise.”
“You know I am. And Phil?”
“Hm?”
“If I ever do post, I promise I’ll let you pour, I dunno, maple syrup on my head.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that.”
“Yeah, and then we can have sex with it. Sound good?”
Phil gives him a look. “Sounds good.”
“Cool.”

Thirdly, we may not be getting any new videos right now, but we are getting tons of adorable photos, and I am living for them. Deppy are looking fine.

And finally, thank you Vincentian for coming through with the squishy Dan footage. You have made all us poor Vessel-less folks very happy.

I'll never get over how community-mined everyone here is; it’s so nice.

christ, i don't even want to know what food play related stuff they do behind closed doors thats not true im incredibly curious but how many times do they have to squeeze these little kinky references in their content, like please go ahead, you're giving us more plates of shit to psychoanalyze and use as fic inspo but they must really know what they're doing to drive us up the wall. like the repetitive references to bdsm/food play/pet play (which are kink trends in the phandom that are widely popular)?? i don't know whether they do it on purpose or that they actually participate in wildly kinky stuff or both to rile us up.

anyways i love how life literally hates them, the attempts to come across as platonic die out when literally almost everything they do has a heavily romantic context. i don't know how they bloody get away with it i know it's heteronormativity and their half-decent lies but

alittledizzy always love what you have to say

[lavenderpetals]

Am I the only one that finds this hilarious? How ironic.

Oh I see Daniel the Spaniel and Philly don't wanna get wet.

Well Deppy is all ready to get hella moist with Phil.

oqua your whole post is just pure gold. Love the little epilogue.

As far as I know this is not a romantic thing. I went on the maid of the mist when I visited Niagara Falls with my family. I don't think pink rain jackets = romance.

This is just like everything else Dan and Phil do, though - yes, each isolated event can be no-homo'd away but when you add things up the pattern paints a picture that isn't actually that far-reaching. Both of them tweeting about it means it had significance to them enough that they want to share, Dan using the gay couple emoji when he knows what it means is a pleasant sign that he's past needing to over-explain every detail, and the innuendo in the instagram caption just feels like a fond/cheeky wink at his audience. So sure, pink rain jackets don't equal romance, but I think most people are looking past just "pink rain jackets" when they're being slightly happy and mushy about it.

Yes to all of this.

I think the boys are just trying to do as much touristy junk as they can while on the tour. And yes getting incredibly drenched at Niagara does not seem 'romantic' at all. Although it seems Danny boy is quite excited to get drenched with Phil.

I even noticed Dan retweeted Phil's tweet, it must be incredibly important for
Personally, the whole gay couple emoji and the wet emoji did make me chuckle. A nod to Shippers Danny or just some weird innuendo.

Thanks Oqua for the nicely organized list of food kink compilation. This will be a great help for the future.

[felucca]

...let's talk about house plants!

See, this is why I wasn't annoyed like everyone else when Phil did that in Louise's video - it's a great joke when used exactly like this! (and Phil totally did)

Caspar's vlog (sorry I couldn't embed from this dodgy site) http://sendvid.com/xlqvqqma

at: 02.26-02.33, 04.30-05.37, 07.49-08.08

Thank youuu.

They sure know how to end a drought in the wettest way possible.

[mez29]

ugh here we go

[coffee pig]

You're not allowed to play along with Dan's mind games, Wirrow.

[thecheshirekatt3]

I love when Wirrow and others get into the whole commenting mess though. Leads to a bit of fun for me scrolling through my feed

[lavenderpetals]

You're not allowed to play along with Dan's mind games, Wirrow.

Damn Wirrow, savage.

Afraid for when they get to California. Boys I know you LOVE getting moist but this state is in a drought.

[Lucet]

Dan looks older/his age in this picture. Kinda hot.

[vincentian]

you’re all welcome , sadly Caspar’s vlog is a bit underwhelming. but who knew deppy would tweet those Niagara pictures that would make us all sappy. come on , pls upload a gaming video to top it off, that would be great!

oqua, the epilogue is amazing and totally breaking the 4th wall (as well as the original fic obviously). are you behind one of the two noteable accounts? shall we start a roleplaying thread (like collectively writing a fanfic line by line), that would be very cringey but hilarious.

Niagara Falls! I guess they planned to do tourist-y stuff before coming to Toronto lol. They should get IHOP there!

Btw, am I the only one with a dirty mind who laughed at Phil's tweet?

They look so natural and smitten in this pic, the Niagara must've impressed them (I assume it was taken after the cruise). Also Phil doesn't often tweet "one of the coolest things I've ever done". I like that they can be stunned by the beauty of nature even if I see things through some goggles.

[missemma]

i think those are tatinof sunglasses. the crew has them in diffrent colours. Just wanted to say that.

Aw! this is such a lovely idea! I did wonder why they had matching sunglasses on, and now I know. Thank you

I was hoping they might post a photo of them after getting moist wet, but unfortunately not.

I also found Caspars vlog underwhelming, especially since he named Dan in the title. Clickbaiting title imo, especially since it's only got Dan in it for like 1 minute.

[DryCereal]

I also found Caspars vlog underwhelming, especially since he named Dan in the title. Clickbaiting title imo, especially since it's only got Dan in it for like 1 minute.

Worked though, didn't it?
If I was in the mood for it, I could analyse the fuck out of what Dan had to say about sarky-memeing and affection, but it's late and I'm tired and... yeah. Tomorrow maybe.

[shikaritrash]

Afraid for when they get to California. Boys I know you LOVE getting moist but this state is in a drought.

just like their content amiright

oh boy did I have fun reading the last pages Dan just stopped giving a fuck with that tweet or what. The emojis plus the innuendo, come on.

Thank you as well for providing us with screencaps from Caspar's vlog because I'm soooooo here for Dan in this jumper you have no idea. Hands down the cutest Dan has ever been. (and here is when my signature is accurate af)

I swear one day I'll make an interesting post but now I'm just kind of a pile of mushy feelings about them both because I'm phan trash. *sigh*