Dan & Phil Part 85: the phildom

[spaceguitar]

What's up y'all! Wow, it's been a few years. Happy for Dan and all of that
In terms of whether there has been a widespread reaction to a coming out video in the past , I would argue that Troye's video, Connor's video, and Ingrid's video got a fair amount of attention. But good for Dan- he really knew how to break the internet.
One thing I'm still thinking about is his use of labels. It is funny how he claims to not want to label himself but then basically calls himself gay. Do you guys think he is just using it as an Umbrella term? It is certainly a powerful move as- like Dan discusses- 'gay' comes with a lot of baggage and less 'normalcy'/ room for reasonable doubt than something like bisexual (or even queer?).
The video certainly made me feel lots of feelings as well leading me to reflect on my own coming out process as an ace person.
It's interesting how many of the things Dan said did not surprise me; some of the [dating & bullying]anecdotes he has told before & other ones he has alluded to- and yet put all together he managed to surprise me with a vulnerable and very real video about his queer experience.

[cocolero]

Not to rain on a parade, but I just realized that Dan said that Phil helped him with shooting the video.

And Dad said he had never told anyone about what happened. “Until now.”

Is it possible Phil was there? If so, that’s traumatic for all involved, and I’m glad they took some time off.

I wondered about that too actually, but it's possible when Dan said, 'until now' he meant the moment in general, as opposed to right that second. This video would have been very carefully scripted and he would have been working on it for a while. He knew what he was going to say and I don't think he would have just sprung that on Phil without warning if he knew Phil was going to be there. So I think it's likely he told Phil what to expect, but saying it out loud to a camera, knowing it would be seen by millions of people, his friends and probably his family (including his grandma, who he obviously loves and has said watches his videos), would have been an incredibly emotional and difficult thing, I think.

Very true. That still has to be really tough for Phil to hear. Man...

In happier news, Dan liked the Attitude magazine article that said he and Phil are romantically involved...

[knq]

I think ‘now’ meant the making of the video generally. ShittyWatercolour made art in advance obviously, and even then, Dan and Phil tend not to include each other under the general ‘anyone/other people’ category. Historically they’ve both referred to being together as being ‘alone.’ They are a single formless blob.

I saw Dan’s production thank you but I’m not sure why Phil would be there while Dan was filming. Most of the video was a still camera. Something to do with the fancy lighting maybe?

[ladyknight1512]

"They are a single formless blob." You speak the truth.

I assumed Phil might not have been there the whole time but would have helped with the lighting, making sure it hit Dan in the right way. We all know how important the visual elements are to Dan Howell. I don't know anything about filming, though so

[Snowboy]

"Dan only talked about being involved with Phil in the past tense, does that mean that they broke up?"

Whether they're exes or current boyfriends (or this entire thing was somehow an incredible misunderstanding and they were never even together in the first place), they're still an enormously uplifting force in each other's lives, and each of them is a pillar that the other can lean on. They provide an outstanding example of a positive, healthy relationship - platonic or romantic - that everyone can and should aspire to match.

To put that in a handy meme format...

Second, I'm curious about the response we've seen to the video. It seems like it's been making headlines all over the place and I'm curious about why. D&P were the first YouTubers I ever started following and they're the only ones I've followed consistently. Most of the others I follow are or were in opposite-sex relationships and never went through this coming out process as far as I'm aware. I watched Connor Franta's video about 2 years ago, but I think that's the only other one I've seen. Does anyone know if there's been another YouTuber coming out like this who's received this kind of response from non-YouTube people and groups? And if this response we're seeing to Dan is virtually unprecedented, why do you think that is? Is it the very Dan way that he tells the story, using humour to diffuse what would otherwise be an incredibly sad story (not saying it isn't anyway, but it's easier to swallow with Dan's way of telling it)? Is it the obvious work he put into it? Is it just the story itself? I just don't know, but I'm curious.

I think it's a combination of production value, length/detail, and the fact that D&P have some level of recognition and fame in the mainstream British media through their work with the BBC - they're not solely an internet presence.

[anathema]

In happier news, Dan liked the Attitude magazine article that said he and Phil are romantically involved...

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it actually says “In his video, Howell revealed that he and Lester had been romantically involved, but didn't clarify the current state of their relationship, explaining he wanted to keep his private life private.”
But honestly, I would be very very surprised if they aren’t together still. We know they were at least still together when they had the radio show, and also that Dan still considers the two of them to be companions in life and soulmates. Plus, Phil used Dan’s video as sort of a way to come out too. While it doesn’t necessarily mean anything for the nature of their relationship now, I feel like it makes more sense to come out using your boyfriend’s coming out video rather than your ex-boyfriend-but-still-best-friend’s video.

[knq]

One thing I'm still thinking about is his use of labels. It is funny how he claims to not want to label himself but then basically calls himself gay. Do you guys think he is just using it as an Umbrella term? It is certainly a powerful move as- like Dan discusses- 'gay' comes with a lot of baggage and less 'normalcy'/ room for reasonable doubt than something like bisexual (or even queer?).

I found that so very Dan. Identifying as the label that scares him the most. But that was the point of the video, wasn't it. His entire relationship with the word and it’s shifting meaning, his internal oppression, and his rebellion against that oppression by publicly identifying as the ‘bad thing’ he’d come to believe he shouldn’t be but has decided he is.

Even if bisexual accurately described Dan it’s a word the he’s used in the past to hide and protect himself, not to come out. It wouldn’t make sense for him to use it, even if he is attracted to people regardless of gender.

I don’t think he’s using gay as an umbrella term really. He said something interesting about wondering if he was “slightly more gay” (than not, I assume) or if it was “just easier for gays to hook up with each other because of societal norms.”

Which makes me realize I tend to think of Dan as a dude who has only loved or had sex with one person because he appears to be in a long term maybe-monogamous relationship now. But like, of course he had a life and experiences before he met Phil. His 13 year old self being in love with and crushed by his gay-but-not-interested friend tore me up. I’m still reeling, and I feel like you can tell Dan is too. For someone who decided to suppress emotions to cope with bullying, he’s so willing now to put his emotions on display and be vulnerable and damn, I’m just coming back around to how much I adored that video again aren’t I?

[socksparadox]

I think the most surreal part of this for me is seeing them so....mainstream? I mean let's be honest, it's been years since either of them were so heavily talked about outside of their own little youtube bubble. The last thing that the general public/media generally gave a fuck about was Dan opening up about his depression, and that was nowhere near the scale of this. His video has been #1 on trending the past day and has been accumulating a million views per every few hours, mainstream media outlets are getting a hold of this (not just We The Unicorns for once), his name was trending on Twitter all night last night. It feels like the whole world's finally catching up and realizing what we've known and loved about Dan all along - that he's an inspirational badass who's capable of creating amazing content. And if it seems scary and overwhelming to me, I can't even imagine how scary it may seem to him.

[spaceguitar]

I found that so very Dan. Identifying as the label that scares him the most. But that was the point of the video, wasn't it. His entire relationship with the word and it’s shifting meaning, his internal oppression, and his rebellion against that oppression by publicly identifying as the ‘bad thing’ he’d come to believe he shouldn’t be but has decided he is.

Even if bisexual accurately described Dan it’s a word the he’s used in the past to hide and protect himself, not to come out. It wouldn’t make sense for him to use it, even if he is attracted to people regardless of gender.

I don’t think he’s using gay as an umbrella term really. He said something interesting about wondering if he was “slightly more gay” (than not, I assume) or if it was “just easier for gays to hook up with each other because of societal norms.”

Which makes me realize I tend to think of Dan as a dude who has only loved or had sex with one person because he appears to be in a long term maybe-monogamous relationship now. But like, of course he had a life and experiences before he met Phil. His 13 year old self being in love with and crushed by his gay-but-not-interested friend tore me up. I’m still reeling, and I feel like you can tell Dan is too. For someone who decided to suppress emotions to cope with bullying, he’s so willing now to put his emotions on display and be vulnerable and damn, I’m just coming back around to how much I adored that video again aren’t I?

Super interesting take. It definitely seemed like him identifying as gay in the title and such was intentional. I do wonder if part of it being intentional reflects his lifestyle! Assuming he is in a committed relationship with a man [Phil], he may just identify more strongly with his male attraction, despite saying he is not 'completely gay' lol.
One of the most interesting parts of the video for me was his reflection on his past relationship with his girlfriend. He states that he genuinely loved her (as a friend) and was attracted to her, but was a terrible boyfriend and frigid (sexually?) because of gay panic.
An interesting and contradictory mix of statements. No wonder boy is confused about his sexuality. I would be too If I were anything other than ace.
And here I go again, speculating. I am so sorry Dan I just can't help it

[captainspacecoat]

I can't remember the last time I posted (or even read) here, but like so many others I felt compelled to pop over and see what you guys were all saying. This past 24+ hours has been unbelievably lovely, I am so so so happy for Dan (and Phil) and I hope that both of them are feeling loved and supported.

I started watching Dan and Phil in 2012 when I was 16 and closeted (even to myself), and I remember vividly what it was like in the phandom back then. It's clear now that above all Dan was deeply scared and uncomfortable, and watching this video it was genuinely heartbreaking to consider how painful that period must have been for him (and Phil). It makes me extremely emotional to think how far they have both come in the years since, and I'm so glad that in 2019 they have reached a place where they feel comfortable being out. I'm out now too and Dan and Phil played a huge role in me finding it within myself to accept that I'm not straight. Coming out to my family was terrifying, so I can't imagine what it's like on such a huge scale.

Dan's video was honestly perfect - articulate and heartwrenching, but with a very Dan-like humourous balance. He was appropriately serious, and movingly angry at all the pain and trauma he's been through. Aesthetically the video was beautiful, with the black background forcing us to focus solely on Dan and the words he was saying, and Hector's art fit the tone of the video perfectly.

And I hope Phil is feeling loved and supported also. His tweet was a coming out of his own, and it must have taken immeasurable strength and bravery. I'm so happy for him that he was able to come out in such an effortless, understated way. The way Dan spoke about Phil in his video was beautiful and meaningful, and I'm so very happy for them that they have each other as soulmates and companions through life.

It has been so incredibly lovely to see everyone come out of the woodwork with an outpouring of love and support for both Dan and Phil. It's been a really positive and healing space to reenter after such a long time away from the phandom. 2012 me could never have dreamed of a time where not only were Dan and Phil out on their own terms, but so was I. Love to all of you who are out, or just came out because of Dan's video, or who are closeted - we are all so brave and so worthy of love. And so much love to you @AltMay, you are so very strong

[Phantasy]

In happier news, Dan liked the Attitude magazine article that said he and Phil are romantically involved...

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it actually says “In his video, Howell revealed that he and Lester had been romantically involved, but didn't clarify the current state of their relationship, explaining he wanted to keep his private life private.”
But honestly, I would be very very surprised if they aren’t together still. We know they were at least still together when they had the radio show, and also that Dan still considers the two of them to be companions in life and soulmates. Plus, Phil used Dan’s video as sort of a way to come out too. While it doesn’t necessarily mean anything for the nature of their relationship now, I feel like it makes more sense to come out using your boyfriend’s coming out video rather than your ex-boyfriend-but-still-best-friend’s video.

I hope they don’t leave it ambiguous for long... last thing I need is a doubt worm wiggling through my brain after finally seeing behind the curtain after all these years. That said I absolutely don’t think they should change their behavior in any way that isn’t comfortable to them. I certainly don’t expect any sudden PDA or overtly romantic gestures. And it’s certainly none of anyone’s business the specific nature of their physical relationship or if they welcome other partners (Dan’s cheeky slide into the DMs remark), but I don’t think I can weather any more years of phan conspiracies or rabid Sherlocking their every move to confirm things when all they have to casually say is they are boyfriends/partners in the current sense.

On a Phil related note, I wonder if he’s going to tackle sexuality straight away in his next video? Obviously, he’s not going to do a long form waffle or even attempt to replicate Dan’s “masterpiece”, but I’d love to see a Phil-esque version. Some ideas that I think would work... interview format (maybe with a member of the LGBTQ community—John Salomone would be cool... “interview with my first subscriber”) or a chat with his mom (did she always know, etc); old MSN chat logs: gay/bi edition; draw my life: gay/bi edition... so much potential to do something lowkey and very Phil.

[noodlebum]

I don't think Phil will address it specifically in a video, especially not anytime soon. Maybe subtle/obvious hints, but not specific. Maybe it low-key coming into the chat during a non-related video

[wynoxium]

everyone's probably way past their initial reactions to everything, so i'm still not quite sure whether my post here is warranted, and i typically avoid posting things that are long and rambly online, but i am so incredibly full of emotion and passion for this situation that i couldn't help but make a contribution here. by now i'm sure just about everyone online has already expressed their own version of my thoughts right now, so this is quite pointless. (sorry if this gets long but this is so deeply personal to me and i can't help but let all of my rambly thoughts gush out in no particular order)

i watched dan's video the second it came out. then i watched it again. then a third time later that night. the moment i saw the title -- the courage that it must have took to even post it was incredibly hard-hitting for me. my jaw and my heart and stomach simultaneously dropped. i was at a loss for words, and quite frankly still am. his story and journey and triumphs are so so powerful to me and though i'm not exactly in the position to feel so, i'm immensely proud of him for putting out such an indescribably wonderful, powerful video. i can't speak for him whatsoever, but witnessing everything so far, i can't help but feel that this is the dan that has been waiting to come out of his cocoon for ages -- from coming out of the closet to having the pride and confidence that he must be feeling to the actually incredible high-quality 45 minute masterpiece of content that he put out. it is all perfect in every way and i don't think i am capable of elaborating because everything is perfect.

pride month in general has made me really emotional this year for various reasons, and i truly found dan's video to be a source of comfort and inexplicable relief. i'm still on the younger end of the spectrum of phandom members, and i quite literally grew up watching both dan and phil's videos (12 inches to be exact). fuck knows why i ever did in the first place, or why so many of the people i knew who watched them also turned out to be queer, but it felt as if i had gone through my own journey alongside two british guys across the ocean.

this next part is not really important to the discussion here and is quite personal (tw/s*), but i don't foresee myself writing this down or talking to anyone in the near future, so i'm going to keep rambling:

it feels so so so hopeless sometimes. i cannot come out to my parents and don't think i ever will be able to. i cannot tell anyone i know. i have yet to befriend anyone who can relate to this portion of my life. i am so incredibly privileged to have a family that loves me and plenty of food on the table and in regards to that i felt unworthy of feeling alone and depressed; i didn't think i was allowed to be depressed. for the entirety of adolescence, i found myself in a constant battle with myself trying to figure out my gender identity and sexuality and somehow found myself in a deep, dark hole with no one around. i told myself that i was making everything up, questioning and analyzing everything i did with such scrutiny that i only made myself more irrational. at such a young age i was at such a low point in my life and it truly felt hopeless -- i knew i'd never be able to end it all, but i also felt like i couldn't get out of the situation i was in. i was extremely lucky that i did not have to endure the physical and mental trauma to the extent that dan experienced in that portion of his life, but his description of his childhood experiences resonated with me on an indescribable level. in a sense i was lucky my parents didn't express their homophobia outwardly up until recently because i am sure i would not have been able to cope with the fact that the closest, most important people in my life maybe wouldn't be able to love me for who i am as a child. i am older now, and much more proud and confident in my queerness. however, the loneliness from childhood has lingered, and the hopelessness expanded along with it as well.

i say all of this because dan's upload was one of the most miraculous things i've experienced and i'm the farthest thing from superstitious or spiritual. i was genuinely considering ending my life as of lately. i so desperately wanted to be out of the closet, and it became so overwhelmingly painful as the realization that my future may not be the one i envisioned became more plausible. i had no source of hope anywhere until i watched dan's video. he may have actually saved my life. i see people say this about dan and phil all of the time but it never hit me until now how true that can be.

my state of mind for most of the past month has been completely irrational, but when daniel howell, who i witnessed grow up as an adult with his entire life projected onto the internet for scouring eyes to pick apart his every movement, who exposed himself to the same homophobia he grappled with through his childhood and adolescence, who actively denied his queerness to his audience -- when he told his story, and i finished the video for the fifth time, and i heard the words "you are valid" and "it gets so much better" -- it actually felt like someone was truly showing me hope. if dan howell could come out with his story in the way that he did, if he could overcome all of the obstacles that he did, then maybe i can live. the shock and stark difference in all of this versus just just 7 years ago regarding dan and phil and the general atmosphere surrounding the phandom just goes to show how far we've come, and gave me the reassurance that having hope even when in a dark place is truly valid.

i take the time to say all of this not for any sort of sympathy but because i want all of you to truly understand how incredibly momentous and powerful and meaningful dan's video is to all of us. no, he didn't cure my depression or get rid of my homophobic peers, but all he had to do was give me a glimmer of hope in pitch black darkness, a wake-up call that was enough to give me the strength to keep going.

i still can't comprehend the extreme amount of solace and relief that i got from merely typing all of this -- how dan must be feeling right now is absolutely unfathomable to me.

(also sincerest apologies if none of this makes sense or comes across in the wrong way, i'm still in a bit of a dream-like state and my emotions are bursting through the roof.)

hope and happiness and triumph and solace and an immense sense of pride -- that's what i got from this video and i'm truly hopeful for the future.

[George]

I feel like I just wake up from a hangover. It was quite late at Thursday for me when Dan uploaded, and after that video I slept what felt like 15 minutes. Then I had to go to work for 9 hours, half of which required learning new difficult things and other half I had to be extra precise. (I was dead on told to 'focus' 5 times at work on Friday, if only they'd knew.... ). Needless to say I was a mess at Friday night, but as it was really first time for me to rewatch the video and go through people's comments I went to bed extra late again. Now I'm more alive but I still have an emotional hangover.

I always thought that if Dan was ever going to make a video about sexuality, it'd be something vague and liveshow-esque, 'everyone is valid and labels are a thing and just breath plah plah plah'. After his warning tweet I had a tiny bit of fear in me that this is it and here we go for real, so seeing that title wasn't that big of the bunch in the gut. The title made me but what had a bigger impact on me was to see the pure length of it. 45 minutes. 45 minutes of Dan explaining everything I have ever wanted to know? Is this real life? I have never in my life been more happy to be wrong about something.

[kavat]

Anyone else having constant, overwhelming realizations about the minutiae of D&P? Like just a constant stream of thoughts that shake you to your core?

• They really did share underwear.
• That heart in Phil's video way back in the day that represented finding Dan.
• "Yes but you don't realize how compelling Phil peer pressures you and makes you feel like a terrible... blerson."
• Phil stumbling over his words after his little liveshow spill: “This is why I’m terrible to… exist with.”
• The cactus dolls, plushies, little animals with their fringes in their last flat. Always next to each other.
• The Phil-sleeping-on-the-tour-bus clip.

Like... this never stops and it aches in the best way.

Oh yeah. I find myself staring into the distance realizing the full context of certain things.

• "Stalk him until he loves you."
• The thing Phil told Tyler that he had to cut out.
• The goddamn Boncas.
• The story about Phil undoing the bow on Dan's sweater
• "I'll find you in any world, Phil" "We can make a life together up there."

I could go on. I have so much love for them both right now.

[goodbants]

Yes but you don't realize how compelling Phil peer pressures you and makes you feel like a terrible... blerson

Where did he say this?

[lilabet]

[itasca00]

Yes but you don't realize how compelling Phil peer pressures you and makes you feel like a terrible... blerson

Where did he say this?

40:20: Explanation of why he watches everything with Phil, apparently Phil is great at peer pressure, also the infamous blerson line. Now that I've heard all the context, it does sound like he's saying that phil makes him feel like a terrible boyfriend...for not watching things with him... hmm

[noodlebum]

Everything they've ever said & done is restructuring itself in my mind.

Love them both so much (and these new emojis)


Also, does anyone else think it's actually Phil who is more private in general than Dan, and therefore Phil which they're always protecting when they say about privacy etc., including still now? If that made any sense...

[kavat]

Also, does anyone else think it's actually Phil who is more private in general than Dan, and therefore Phil which they're always protecting when they say about privacy etc., including still now? If that made any sense...

I think they've always been private in different ways. Like, Phil has always been more open in regards to stories about his family, friends and childhood, but more reserved about his opinions and feelings. Dan has always been very private about his family and most parts of his childhood (which is very understandable) but always very loud about what his thoughts and opinions are. When they were doing regular liveshows I always looked forward to Phil telling the anecdotes from the last week or whatever, and to Dan sharing what he thinks about the latest music/news/shows. I'm still surprised that Dan shared so much about his family in his video, including actual pictures of them, while we know so much more about Phil's family. So I think it's not really that one is more private than the other, they just have always shared different aspects of their life (and that's just one more thing showing exactly how well they work together as a unit).

[lionandllama]

I feel like everything has already been said and I want to keep it short because I know I could write entire paragraphs about how his video made me feel.
I remember reading his “June month video” tweet to my partner and them saying “Oh, is he gonna come out?” and I said “Nah, definitely not, I’ve been waiting for that to happen since 2012. I guess it’ll be birthday-related” and my partner replying with “Once you stop expecting something it’ll happen”.
THEY WERE RIGHT.

I was shaking the whole video through.
Intense emotions. And I still have them even now.
I drew Dan wrapped up in a Pride flag and this made me feel even more intense emotions. I won’t stop shutting up about this for months now. I love him and I‘m so immensely happy for and proud of him.

Regarding the past tense and not-quite-clarifying-it situation:
Remember how Dan, right after he said he (and Phil too) wants to keep his relationship status private, has seen all these other social media persons end up in all kinds of shitstorms if “something changes”? Because everyone got invested in their story now and feel like they have a right to comment on it.

This immediately made me think back to 2012 right before the customerservice blog era, when an anonymous blog uploaded tons and tons of old Facebook pictures, screenshots, Skype stuff etc. and Dan sent them a private message on Tumblr, saying something along the lines of: “I feel like you won’t stop anytime soon without actual reason so I’m begging you to delete our personal things. We have been dating for a few years but don’t want to have to break up over something so stupid” etc etc.
Needless to say that the asshole blog leaked the message. Thank goodness everyone thought it was a fake screenshot back then. I never quite knew what to think because the entire message sounded so VERY Dan.
I might still find the screen somewhere on my old demon phannie hard drive (sorry, I was 20, queer, scared and confused, I didn’t realise back then that saving “”Phan proof”” was pretty toxic too).

The message might still turn out to be fake but I think the main point is true: they very well know that the public knowing the exact state of their relationship makes it far more vulnerable, puts them under a lot of expectations and pressure and might lead to a breakup.
And having a breakup IN PUBLIC? Highly traumatising.
Even if something about their relationship “changed” (e.g. opening it up, going from monogamous to polyamorous or whatever) they would’ve had to disclose this to the public somehow and like Dan said, he wants to do things without an audience. If something changes, he doesn’t want to have to explain that to the entire world.
So not fully disclosing their current relationship status (but not denying anything either, he could’ve easily said “We used to date but are now only platonic friends”) is the best they can do to protect it.
I wish them all the best.

[RiriPandaHeart2]

I'm not sure, but I was actually quite shocked at how many people took Phil's tweet as him making a video about his sexuality at some point. I interpreted it as just part of the tweet which was his means to express support for Dan's video and him subtly coming out. As much as I would want a video from Phil discussing his sexuality and his own experiences, I honestly think the most we'd get is little anecdotes of male attraction at most. Although we got first girlfriend stories from Phil, all of his relationship stories were from way back when he was a kid, and were all not serious. Although I think we did get a mention of a girlfriend in college. But that was just a one-liner. We knew nothing about the relationship. (Pls. correct me if I'm wrong. I'm remembering something about Ian dating the same girl and being dumped too but I don't know what stage of Phil's life that was or if I'm remembering correctly. My Phan-knowledge has been severely depleted due to focusing on other interests. Sorry).

But at the end of the day, I was on the camp of people who believed that they'd never make a coming out video and here we are. So I'm most likely wrong. I just wanted to put this out there to see if others also thought the same.

With regard to them making their current status ambiguous, I'm actually confused. Am I getting it right that Dan's fear is that if they broke up, he'd have to make a statement about it right? But it's kinda confusing to me because either way, if he and Phil ever do have a falling out, he doesn't need to make a statement about it, but he will always be asked about Phil. I mean, unfortunately for them (or fortunately? I'm not sure), they're already branded as a duo in most people's heads. So they would always be associated with each other, even if they're in a relationship or not. And the fact that they confirmed that, at the very least, they did date or was romantic at some point, people will still go to the same conclusions and demand the same answers. Cause imagine, if they do introduce other significant others sometime in the future, they'd still be asked questions about when they broke up, how'd they remained friends, etc. Or if they broke up and are publicly cold or ignoring each other, people would still ask questions anyway. I mean the Phandom (and I'm assuming even a certain percentage of the general public) is already invested in their relationship anyway. But at the end of the day, it's always their choice though. I'm just confused.

I'm not sure if I'm articulating my thoughts in a way that can be understood. But if anybody did read through that mess. Thanks.

[poweroftriangles]

Just sliding in to express my love for this header. Thanks admins/mods

[noodlebum]

Anyone else watching really old dan and phil videos and feeling soft for the next month or so?

Cause imagine, if they do introduce other significant others sometime in the future, they'd still be asked questions about when they broke up, how'd they remained friends, etc. Or if they broke up and are publicly cold or ignoring each other, people would still ask questions anyway.

Well as Dan said he wants to keep aspects of his private life private, I'm not sure if we would see any other significant others they may have. We haven't so far, if they've had them. That's why he says he wants to keep it private, the highs and lows of relationships, fuck-ups etc, and not have to disclose that sort of thing every time something went wrong. And he said he and Phil are best friends/companions/soulmates for life, so I can't imagine them ignoring each other in the near or distant future no matter their relationship status. That's how I see it anyway!

[Amiaw]

With regard to them making their current status ambiguous, I'm actually confused. Am I getting it right that Dan's fear is that if they broke up, he'd have to make a statement about it right? But it's kinda confusing to me because either way, if he and Phil ever do have a falling out, he doesn't need to make a statement about it, but he will always be asked about Phil. I mean, unfortunately for them (or fortunately? I'm not sure), they're already branded as a duo in most people's heads. So they would always be associated with each other, even if they're in a relationship or not. And the fact that they confirmed that, at the very least, they did date or was romantic at some point, people will still go to the same conclusions and demand the same answers. Cause imagine, if they do introduce other significant others sometime in the future, they'd still be asked questions about when they broke up, how'd they remained friends, etc. Or if they broke up and are publicly cold or ignoring each other, people would still ask questions anyway. I mean the Phandom (and I'm assuming even a certain percentage of the general public) is already invested in their relationship anyway. But at the end of the day, it's always their choice though. I'm just confused.

I’m going to be honest and say that I thought they fell out/broke up before this video and hearing everyone’s thoughts about how dan described their relationship confuses me too but after having some time to think on it and not wanting to speculate too much I think the ambiguity is a sign that they are still together.

I can’t think of any good reason to keep the relationship a mystery at this point. True they are both extremely private and have said they’d keep their private lives to themselves on a few occasions but keeping phan alive still keeps them in a box of some sorts. If they were over I’d imagine dan would have said that in some way instead of saying they were life companions and soulmates.

The other reason I’ve come around is that this whole last 7 months has been them slowly becoming more private personally and professionally. They’ve done it in different ways but they’ve both done it. Dan disappeared and Phil took bios off all his accounts, removed headers, etc. they stopped posting pictures, and they basically took their private lives completely off the table aside from a few things they felt like sharing with us. This is conjecture but even thinking back to their last live show and gaming video when they made all of these changes they were ambiguous there but made statements alluding to their personal lives not changing.

So tldr; I don’t know their relationship status but right now Im going with the simplest explanation. Their relationship could be open or non traditional but I do still believe they are very much each other person