IDB

jfc why is dan's voice so low in the video he posted on twitter/tumblr??? was it that low in the actual vid and i just missed it?

Oh, that's weird. It wasn't like that on YouTube :wtf:

ngl 'non-straight man' is a dope ass superhero name

Hi, i'm reading a lot of interesting contributions about Dan's sexuality so I'll just quote someone who clearly knew what to write. You sum up my own thoughts quite eloquently

idkwhattowrite wrote:I feel like pretty much everything's been said, but I've been at work for ages so please excuse my late input! (also I have only been able to skim through the many pages of discussion, so I'm sorry for any rehashing of old discussions)

I started watching Dan and Phil only semi recently, and to me, Dan has always come across as someone who needs people to understand and *get* who he is as a person. I feel like he genuinely cares that people don't misunderstand the things he values about himself, and I think it's fair to assume based on his frequent discussions in live shows recently, that sexuality is on of those things. However, I also think that he doesn't want to/feel comfortable with being made a spokesperson or role model for being queer. I feel like his whole approach of being open without disclosing is his way of achieving both of those things: living honestly and openly and sharing some things, while still remaining private about others and avoiding being put in a position as a role model (in a more direct way than he is for aligning himself with a non-straight identity in a public space, that is).

This is all to say that, because this is how I always interpreted him, I am also really proud that he did include multiple genders in his tindr spon. I'm not surprised (and would have been more surprised if he hadn't), but I'm happy for him that he's in a place where he feels comfortable enough to be that upfront about it. It probably doesn't even matter that for most people it didn't change their perception of him.

Lastly, I kind of wonder if his choice to post it on tuesday in lieu of his regular live show was a way to give himself as much time as possible to gage people's reactions before discussing it live. Regardless of how open he's become recently, I could see how posting this would feel significant in a way. To a casual audience, it's a lot more explicit than he usually is. And from my personal POV as someone who is bi but not exactly yelling it from the rooftops; even if you're completely comfortable with who you are and who you're attracted to, it can still be pretty scary to put that out there to such a large audience, especially when you feel like it will, to some extent, be treated as you making a (non-)statement about your sexuality.

A question i had for @eevee What do you personally think is the reason that Dan was so vehemently against the idea of him liking men. I'm interested in why you think people like Dan are like that i can very much relate

The video I liked a lot. I don't mind he was putting in so much of the 'recovering emo' act, it was pretty funny and all around surprised by how witty the banter was on Tinder. I must get a tinder myself and get sorely disappointed !
At times, I did have to shrug of the sad "why do you have to be like this Dan" feeling when i felt people were trying to actually connect with them. Bless that poor girl who just wrecked his -admittedly low- wholesomeness tolerance levels. Her story will live on in my next fanfic.

One thing I do find very contradictory is that Phil gets a lot of flack for doing a tindr spon while Dan seems to get away with it. Even though the age of their audience and any sort of ethical objections would be the same.
I don't think anything about is it wrong - but what I do think is very wrong is that Dan's promo video's turn out to be better prepared than most of his 'normal video's'.
and that bitch used the release of his spon video to cancel his live show. I miss you Danny fire and I thought you missed us too
Another thing i want to point out is that people do seem to have double standards about when Dan is telling us truths about himself (subtly) and when he is lying.
He makes a spon vid for a dating app a couple of years ago: Obviously all fake ! Can't be true, he would never do it we can't believe a word of it.
He makes a spon vid for a dating app now: He kinda came out, him chatting with both men and women is a genuine reflection of who he is but obviously all the rest is a joke...
Do you think he's also so joking when he for example says (around 0:50) that's he's gonna give people they naked, ugly truth. which is coincidentally also what they would get if we hit it off in real life ? That would for example imply that he's still looking for dates/someone. And that's not the first time that they have alluded to occasionally having dates (there's a similar allusion in one of the undertale vids - to just stick to recent ones).
Now hopefully we get a new video of him soon. I agree with @felucca that we should give him a kick in the butt and out of his butt chair before he rests on his laurels for to long.
@ Lurking The longer you wait with content, the more we'll have to make ourselves you know.

snokoplasmic wrote:jfc why is dan's voice so low in the video he posted on twitter/tumblr??? was it that low in the actual vid and i just missed it?

sparkle wrote:

idkwhattowrite wrote:
Right - I want the rest of you guys' opinion on this. It's not just me, Dans voice IS deeper in the last two main channel videos isn't it?

I feel like the parts in the video, he uploaded to social media, where he delivers the follow up parts to the chat up lines (in black and white) are ever so slightly slowed down which is making his voice sound slightly deeper? Possibly, maybe?

Stakhanov wrote:A question i had for @eevee What do you personally think is the reason that Dan was so vehemently against the idea of him liking men. I'm interested in why you think people like Dan are like that i can very much relate

Not eevee, but that's a pretty generalized question. You're basically asking why people are closeted - there's a lot of reasons for that. In Dan's case, during his most vehemently closeted period, something major just happened that caused people to question both his sexuality (which he'd been open about not even three years before) and his relationship at a time when he was also at a very sensitive junction of a very public career. Dan being closeted then makes perfect sense to me, the same way Dan now being more open makes sense.

cherrybomb3 wrote:

argo wrote:

cherrybomb3 wrote:it makes more sense when you put it like this. i guess personally my main worry for responses to the video wasnt so much homophobia (in 2017 its much less overt and much more low key and to do with erasing identities on the internet which is of course much better) but excessively pointing it out to the point of fetishisation and making it a huuuuge thing in a sort of intrusive and staring at an animal in a zoo way if that makes any sense. that just spooks me slightly
thats not to say that people who are much more confident when their sexuality is a big part of their identity any less valid or brave yno
basically whatever makes you personally more comfortable is the best for you, obvs


[offtopic]now if youll excuse me frickin radiohead oknotok holy crap im in heaven[/offtopic]

I remember a while back ppl would talk about the post-gay society (I guess that's the right term). I think that term goes along with what you're saying-
having sexuality be apart of you, something you're proud of but not your defining characteristic. And when people put it at the forefront of what they see in someone I can see how that's disconcerting. We just have to remember that society is still learning one step at a time. I'm no expert on this and don't want to be using outdated terms, but I hope this made sense.

sounds like a good concept tbh although i do get rather suspicious of any 'post-(identity)' thing by default because half the time its just an excuse to not talk about some social issue by pretending that its dead and buried in our nice modern society (eg post racial america, post class society etc)

Post-racial America? What is this thing you speak of?

Stakhanov wrote:Another thing i want to point out is that people do seem to have double standards about when Dan is telling us truths about himself (subtly) and when he is lying.
He makes a spon vid for a dating app a couple of years ago: Obviously all fake ! Can't be true, he would never do it we can't believe a word of it.
He makes a spon vid for a dating app now: He kinda came out, him chatting with both men and women is a genuine reflection of who he is but obviously all the rest is a joke...
Do you think he's also so joking when he for example says (around 0:50) that's he's gonna give people they naked, ugly truth. which is coincidentally also what they would get if we hit it off in real life ? That would for example imply that he's still looking for dates/someone. And that's not the first time that they have alluded to occasionally having dates (there's a similar allusion in one of the undertale vids - to just stick to recent ones).

Regarding the bolded, that video spon for the dating app was slightly fake though, in it you can clearly see that both dan and phil checked off "looking for just friends" but then later on said they were going on dates that failed. If they didn't check off the "looking for just friends" then I may be able to understand it being a bit silly to be deemed fake.

The newer video was literally an experiment as he explained, to see if people would still want to talk to someone if they were honest on the first meeting. When saying the whole "same thing irl" it's more of a hypothetical response. It doesn't really allude to him having dates or looking for someone, but that's just my take on it. And the whole undertale thing...literally thats the most subjective "proof". All that's said is "and dating could be kinda hard" and dan say, "It is you have no-" which can be taken as ether anti or pro phan, when you think about it.

Also side note, the difference between this dating app spon(s) (I'm gonna compare both of theirs here) and the one from a few years ago is different because with the one from years ago had them both state that they were single and they both selected females as the preferred. Now, honestly, if they actually are single this would've been a good time to you know, hint at that, but nether of them did. Dan's video would've made sense to have some single and alone jokes in those pick of lines, but yet it didn't. When Phil talked about the app/him personally using it, he used past tense, not pretense. I can't speak much about Phil's preference choosing for the new dating app spon since he chose to not use the app, sadly. But with Dan, him preferencing males and females is a big step up from the last one as well as being more genuine to himself. Though it shouldn't be a surprise to anyone at this point, he's been hinting at being attracted to both males and females for a long time now.

Stakhanov wrote: One thing I do find very contradictory is that Phil gets a lot of flack for doing a tindr spon while Dan seems to get away with it. Even though the age of their audience and any sort of ethical objections would be the same.

Phil's Tinder spon, released exactly a month ago, came as a big surprise for us. We had no idea they were planning to do this and yes it did seem at odds with AmazingPhil's branding. You could argue that they have mainly the same audience demographics, yet they treat their audience differently. Phil has been conscious about his language because "there could be babies watching". Dan clearly has never had this attitude. Now I'm all for Phil going in a more mature direction, and honestly the content of his spon video wasn't bad at all (besides the admission of cat fishing), it was very him, but it was still a shock. We've had a month to prepare for Dan's Tinder video and accept that they are doing these spons to save up for their forever home/Dan's grand piano. So while many of us were worried about what Dan was about to drop on us, we were (for the most part) pleasantly surprised. I think that's the main difference: time and acceptance, but also that Dan and a dating app feel a tad more compatible than Phil and one.

im not going to mention dans sexuality ~~reveal~~ aside from this vague post because at this point i really cannot ignore the way that he shut down mentioning his bisexuality when he started to get more well known. in 2011 he could talk about having crushes on male fictional characters on tumblr and nobody cared. go forward a year and suddenly every slightly not 100% hetero comment he made got a load of attention drawn to it. "OH MY GOD does dan like boooooooys does he like phil omg are they together he is so BI IM SCREAMING" shit, plus the invasion of privacy that comes with any queer male making non sexual comments about attraction because people feel much more comfortable describing the private sexual lives of queer men when they wouldnt go into so much detail about anyone else.

basically theres a very clear link between him suddenly going quiet about sexuality mentions and the time when people started paying so much attention to it so whether or not the all caps comments under the video or on tumblr are meant to be nice, i just dont like them

Katka wrote:Someone asked how the phandom on Tumblr and Twitter reacted like a thousand pages back so I just went in the Tumblr tag (send help) and had a look around: Something I noticed in the aftermath of the video is people assuming it means he’s gay and that bothers me a lot. It’s 2017, do people really not know that straight and gay are not the only sexualities? Or are they using gay as an umbrella term? (I mean, I don’t like that either but it would be better than people assuming male attraction has to mean someone’s gay.) Another thing I’ve noticed is a lot of online screeching about “Oh my god, he likes men!” like he’s never before talked about his attraction to men, so I think there are quite a few people who thought the previous male attraction mentions might have been jokes but the ones in the video were for real.

I’m actually really glad most people accept that he doesn’t want a label. Like, Dan’s not bi or pan or anything as long as he sticks with not wanting to label his sexuality, that’s the whole point of it. But he’s made it very clear he’s not straight either and I think that’s all he’ll say on the matter. Anyways, I’m really looking forward to his next live show. I doubt he’ll explain anything regarding his sexuality and he’ll probably dodge all comments and questions in true elusive Dan fashion but I’m still kind of excited to see what he’ll say about the video in general. As far as I can tell it got a mostly positive response which hasn’t happen with a main channel video in ages.

That was me, thanks for answering! I'd also noticed some YouTube comments that were basically skipping over "bi/pan" as a possibility, which was irksome - not because I think that's what Dan should/does identify as; it's just generally frustrating when people forget that bi is an option that exists. If people assume that he's gay just because he shows male attraction, then that means they'll treat any female attraction mention as him denying his sexuality or something, which is not necessarily the case. (Do wanna note that I also saw quite a few comments asking, "so... is he gay/bi/likes men?" and a lot of the responses were simple, "probably, he doesn't like labels." This was when the video was first uploaded, and unfortunately it seems like those comments got buried by ones about Phil and "what's a meme lol".)

Anyway, tangent aside, I haven't seen this mentioned yet (if I missed a comment about it oops lol): I LOVE Dan's new video background. I love how he balanced the warm side with the digital fireplace and glowing conch shell... basket... thing, with the cool side, with the bonsai and unlit candles. It's very elemental and zen and so pleasant to look at.

LtrllySusan wrote:While we're on the topic of CPM and viewing numbers, Dan actually posted the full length (and squarified) video to facebook a few hours ago: https://www.facebook.com/danisnotonfire ... 438453481/
I was surprised last night when I didn't see him post the video there (was ready to read comments), but this seems like a new strategy? I remember him talking about social media reach on a lifeshow when he posted that short clip of Phil hitting his hand on the suitcase on different platforms. He talked about how the reach and interactions were different.

Ah, as someone with education/work experience in social media my fingers are itching, I wanna see the analytics of that post (and his youtube channel) so badly. Wonder how many new people he reaches this way. Facebook's aggressive autoplay might be better at marketing these days than hoping to show up on someone's YT suggestions.

Edit: He posted a snippet to twitter as well. Very interesting new approach! Hoping for a small reach/interaction rant in the next LS. Pretty please

My thought on this (as someone who works in social media and has arranged brand deals before) was that he might have posted the vid to Facebook and a snippet to Twitter as part of the deal? There could have been an agreement in place that the video would get X number of impressions/reach in the first few days or something, or that he had to promote across all his social channels.

Phil heavily promoted his Tinder video in one of the DAPG (I think) videos that came out the same week (and didn't disclose that section as an ad, naughty Phil) so that could have been for the same reason.

droopy wrote:

Katka wrote:Someone asked how the phandom on Tumblr and Twitter reacted like a thousand pages back so I just went in the Tumblr tag (send help) and had a look around: Something I noticed in the aftermath of the video is people assuming it means he’s gay and that bothers me a lot. It’s 2017, do people really not know that straight and gay are not the only sexualities? Or are they using gay as an umbrella term? (I mean, I don’t like that either but it would be better than people assuming male attraction has to mean someone’s gay.) Another thing I’ve noticed is a lot of online screeching about “Oh my god, he likes men!” like he’s never before talked about his attraction to men, so I think there are quite a few people who thought the previous male attraction mentions might have been jokes but the ones in the video were for real.

I’m actually really glad most people accept that he doesn’t want a label. Like, Dan’s not bi or pan or anything as long as he sticks with not wanting to label his sexuality, that’s the whole point of it. But he’s made it very clear he’s not straight either and I think that’s all he’ll say on the matter. Anyways, I’m really looking forward to his next live show. I doubt he’ll explain anything regarding his sexuality and he’ll probably dodge all comments and questions in true elusive Dan fashion but I’m still kind of excited to see what he’ll say about the video in general. As far as I can tell it got a mostly positive response which hasn’t happen with a main channel video in ages.

That was me, thanks for answering! I'd also noticed some YouTube comments that were basically skipping over "bi/pan" as a possibility, which was irksome - not because I think that's what Dan should/does identify as; it's just generally frustrating when people forget that bi is an option that exists. If people assume that he's gay just because he shows male attraction, then that means they'll treat any female attraction mention as him denying his sexuality or something, which is not necessarily the case. (Do wanna note that I also saw quite a few comments asking, "so... is he gay/bi/likes men?" and a lot of the responses were simple, "probably, he doesn't like labels." This was when the video was first uploaded, and unfortunately it seems like those comments got buried by ones about Phil and "what's a meme lol".)

Anyway, tangent aside, I haven't seen this mentioned yet (if I missed a comment about it oops lol): I LOVE Dan's new video background. I love how he balanced the warm side with the digital fireplace and glowing conch shell... basket... thing, with the cool side, with the bonsai and unlit candles. It's very elemental and zen and so pleasant to look at.

I just went searching. All comments I've seen where it's like 'omg Dan mentioned guys' have people being like 'yes he doesn't like labels move along'. I've seen many that are like 'bi dan is cannon' 'dan is bisexual confirmed'. Both of which make me very happy. But anything is kinda buried under generic phandom comments, kinda worrying that a few under 18s are now considering downloading Tinder to find Dan..... though I did see someone say she downloaded Tinder because of the video and has a date tomorrow. What an absolute utter ledge of a wingman Dan.

(fun fact, I asked my current girlfriend out with a meme of Dan way back in 2014... when we get married I'm not not joking about sending him and Mr Phil an invite)

I agree with the video background, but the pop up on the fire place makes me laugh so much - and as soon as I notice it I can't unsee it

sparkle wrote:

droopy wrote:

Katka wrote:Someone asked how the phandom on Tumblr and Twitter reacted like a thousand pages back so I just went in the Tumblr tag (send help) and had a look around: Something I noticed in the aftermath of the video is people assuming it means he’s gay and that bothers me a lot. It’s 2017, do people really not know that straight and gay are not the only sexualities? Or are they using gay as an umbrella term? (I mean, I don’t like that either but it would be better than people assuming male attraction has to mean someone’s gay.) Another thing I’ve noticed is a lot of online screeching about “Oh my god, he likes men!” like he’s never before talked about his attraction to men, so I think there are quite a few people who thought the previous male attraction mentions might have been jokes but the ones in the video were for real.

I’m actually really glad most people accept that he doesn’t want a label. Like, Dan’s not bi or pan or anything as long as he sticks with not wanting to label his sexuality, that’s the whole point of it. But he’s made it very clear he’s not straight either and I think that’s all he’ll say on the matter. Anyways, I’m really looking forward to his next live show. I doubt he’ll explain anything regarding his sexuality and he’ll probably dodge all comments and questions in true elusive Dan fashion but I’m still kind of excited to see what he’ll say about the video in general. As far as I can tell it got a mostly positive response which hasn’t happen with a main channel video in ages.

That was me, thanks for answering! I'd also noticed some YouTube comments that were basically skipping over "bi/pan" as a possibility, which was irksome - not because I think that's what Dan should/does identify as; it's just generally frustrating when people forget that bi is an option that exists. If people assume that he's gay just because he shows male attraction, then that means they'll treat any female attraction mention as him denying his sexuality or something, which is not necessarily the case. (Do wanna note that I also saw quite a few comments asking, "so... is he gay/bi/likes men?" and a lot of the responses were simple, "probably, he doesn't like labels." This was when the video was first uploaded, and unfortunately it seems like those comments got buried by ones about Phil and "what's a meme lol".)

Anyway, tangent aside, I haven't seen this mentioned yet (if I missed a comment about it oops lol): I LOVE Dan's new video background. I love how he balanced the warm side with the digital fireplace and glowing conch shell... basket... thing, with the cool side, with the bonsai and unlit candles. It's very elemental and zen and so pleasant to look at.

I just went searching. All comments I've seen where it's like 'omg Dan mentioned guys' have people being like 'yes he doesn't like labels move along'. I've seen many that are like 'bi dan is cannon' 'dan is bisexual confirmed'. Both of which make me very happy. But anything is kinda buried under generic phandom comments, kinda worrying that a few under 18s are now considering downloading Tinder to find Dan..... though I did see someone say she downloaded Tinder because of the video and has a date tomorrow. What an absolute utter ledge of a wingman Dan.

(fun fact, I asked my current girlfriend out with a meme of Dan way back in 2014... when we get married I'm not not joking about sending him and Mr Phil an invite)

I agree with the video background, but the pop up on the fire place makes me laugh so much - and as soon as I notice it I can't unsee it

It's really hard for me to gauge the phandom sometimes. It's a big and diverse group, so it makes sense, but still. I remember when I first joined, all I had to go off of was YT comments and occasionally searching the tumblr tags, until I stumbled across GG and eventually this place. So my initial perception of the phandom (which was exactly what I expected when I first started watching ) was very different from what I'm now used to from spending all my time here. But, even though I can't relate to their style of fandom interaction, I still appreciate them a lot.

Also a big to wingman Dan. (wingdan? nvm)

I noticed that too the third time I went to watch it. What was the popup about, I wonder?

droopy wrote: It's really hard for me to gauge the phandom sometimes. It's a big and diverse group, so it makes sense, but still. I remember when I first joined, all I had to go off of was YT comments and occasionally searching the tumblr tags, until I stumbled across GG and eventually this place. So my initial perception of the phandom (which was exactly what I expected when I first started watching ) was very different from what I'm now used to from spending all my time here. But, even though I can't relate to their style of fandom interaction, I still appreciate them a lot.

Also a big to wingman Dan. (wingdan? nvm)

I noticed that too the third time I went to watch it. What was the popup about, I wonder?

I feel the same. I miss when I first started watching them sometimes, it was easier to keep track of. I don't even know how I found this site but I'm glad I did - I like forums and I like discussing them, I thats basically impossible. Especially as I don't have any friends who are into them like me, and I feel weird about interacting with the phantom. I'm only 22 but I saw comments today like 'Phil made his first video when I was 1'... I was 10. I feel a little old? Lets be real, I felt like that when I was 18 too but it's intensifying the older I am. It's nice to be here, and being able to talk without every third interaction being 'I'M CRAFTING'

I THINK (I just searched on the Mac app store) its a screensaver app that lets you go into fullscreen mode manually. I think its either telling him to rate in the Mac store or it's telling him its in full screen. Maybe next time he should film with do not disturb turned on

edit: i'm also sold on wingdan. I'm all about Dan/Phil name puns

Now that the conversation has gone in this direction ... are there any chats you can recommend? Like for example discord chats? I sometimes see Dan give shout outs to some but google hasn't been as helpful as I hoped in finding any. It's not something I have a lot of experience with but for Dan and Phil bants I could consider joining one.

Stakhanov wrote:A question i had for @eevee What do you personally think is the reason that Dan was so vehemently against the idea of him liking men. I'm interested in why you think people like Dan are like that i can very much relate

Let me clarify: I don't think he was uncomfortable with the idea in general of him being not-straight, I think he was uncomfortable with such a large, public audience knowing.

There are a lot of reasons for that, and we'll never really know the truth. But I do think it was probably a mix of a lot of things. Wanting to be hireable (by the BBC and otherwise), not being out to his family/parents, being scared of homophobic strangers and/or the news being ill-received, his audience defining him by it and not paying attention to who he was, memories of being bullied in school for being feminine or otherwise perceived as not-straight, general feelings of insecurity, Phil not being ready to go public with their relationship......there are lots of reasons. And I don't know which ones it could be.

But judging from past behavior before the vday video leaked, he seemed fine with it before his audience was big. I think the size of his audience directly impacted his paranoia.

Stakhanov wrote:Do you think he's also so joking when he for example says (around 0:50) that's he's gonna give people they naked, ugly truth. which is coincidentally also what they would get if we hit it off in real life ? That would for example imply that he's still looking for dates/someone.

I noticed this. And that helps me be certain in my argument that he came out. He was saying that if he would meet up with people, these would be the people. Men or women. However, he did not say that he will be meeting up with anyone. It was hypothetical. So it's noncommittal. So he did not affirm or deny that he's single, essentially.

confusedpanda wrote:Regarding the bolded, that video spon for the dating app was slightly fake though, in it you can clearly see that both dan and phil checked off "looking for just friends"

Good find, I hadn't noticed that.

confusedpanda wrote: Dan's video would've made sense to have some single and alone jokes in those pick of lines, but yet it didn't. When Phil talked about the app/him personally using it, he used past tense, not pretense. I can't speak much about Phil's preference choosing for the new dating app spon since he chose to not use the app, sadly. But with Dan, him preferencing males and females is a big step up from the last one as well as being more genuine to himself.

Honestly we need to talk about this more. Not ONE single and alone joke. Not ONE. This is even a step up from the roast yourself challenge where he mentioned masturbating and crying into pizza. I love.

@8:37

(Seem Marianne got mad at Ben for filming her )

Two things I love collide. Ah, if only we could get a collab with Cristine and Dan and holo/black nail polish. I can dream.

jaej wrote:im not going to mention dans sexuality ~~reveal~~ aside from this vague post because at this point i really cannot ignore the way that he shut down mentioning his bisexuality when he started to get more well known. in 2011 he could talk about having crushes on male fictional characters on tumblr and nobody cared. go forward a year and suddenly every slightly not 100% hetero comment he made got a load of attention drawn to it. "OH MY GOD does dan like boooooooys does he like phil omg are they together he is so BI IM SCREAMING" shit, plus the invasion of privacy that comes with any queer male making non sexual comments about attraction because people feel much more comfortable describing the private sexual lives of queer men when they wouldnt go into so much detail about anyone else.

basically theres a very clear link between him suddenly going quiet about sexuality mentions and the time when people started paying so much attention to it so whether or not the all caps comments under the video or on tumblr are meant to be nice, i just dont like them

People here have made comments like this a few times, and comments about fetishizing m/m sex--which I think is the same idea--and I'm wondering if you jaej or anyone could say more about that. That is, I think I know what you mean but then I'm not very sure--how do we know it's fetishized?

Obviously, I'm not a queer man, so I don't have any sort of direct experience.

eevee wrote:

confusedpanda wrote: Dan's video would've made sense to have some single and alone jokes in those pick of lines, but yet it didn't. When Phil talked about the app/him personally using it, he used past tense, not pretense. I can't speak much about Phil's preference choosing for the new dating app spon since he chose to not use the app, sadly. But with Dan, him preferencing males and females is a big step up from the last one as well as being more genuine to himself.

Honestly we need to talk about this more. Not ONE single and alone joke. Not ONE. This is even a step up from the roast yourself challenge where he mentioned masturbating and crying into pizza. I love.

You can both masturbate and cry into pizza even if you're married.

I did notice the lack of single and alone jokes and it makes my heart happy.

LeftHandedism wrote:

jaej wrote:im not going to mention dans sexuality ~~reveal~~ aside from this vague post because at this point i really cannot ignore the way that he shut down mentioning his bisexuality when he started to get more well known. in 2011 he could talk about having crushes on male fictional characters on tumblr and nobody cared. go forward a year and suddenly every slightly not 100% hetero comment he made got a load of attention drawn to it. "OH MY GOD does dan like boooooooys does he like phil omg are they together he is so BI IM SCREAMING" shit, plus the invasion of privacy that comes with any queer male making non sexual comments about attraction because people feel much more comfortable describing the private sexual lives of queer men when they wouldnt go into so much detail about anyone else.

basically theres a very clear link between him suddenly going quiet about sexuality mentions and the time when people started paying so much attention to it so whether or not the all caps comments under the video or on tumblr are meant to be nice, i just dont like them

People here have made comments like this a few times, and comments about fetishizing m/m sex--which I think is the same idea--and I'm wondering if you jaej or anyone could say more about that. That is, I think I know what you mean but then I'm not very sure--how do we know it's fetishized?

Obviously, I'm not a queer man, so I don't have any sort of direct experience.

one way it comes up that happens not EXCLUSIVELY with m/m sexual relationships but does happen sooo much more and with much less backlash is just the presumptions people make or how comfortable they are talking about another persons possible sex life. there aren't many straight male or female youtubers who would have people here or on similar boards discussing what they're like in bed, how much sex you think they had last night, anything like that. it would be called out as creepy or gross if you talked about another youtube couple, like people believe dan and phil are, talking graphically about their sex. they make jokes about sex and stuff in videos, yes, but that isn't the same as the way queer male sex is talked about. it's something which has a really terrible history, is still illegal in so many places, but even where it isn't it isn't treated as equal to heterosexual sex because if it was, people would not feel so comfortable talking about these people, but they are because it's TWO MEN. it becomes a fun talking point because it's secretive and scandalous, but also because they're a COUPLE it's okay because then they're not dirty slutty gays sleeping around and passing on diseases.

basically queer male sexuality gets treated a lot either like straight male sexuality (i.e. no stigma, 'they can do what they want and no one stops men having sex!') or like something other people OWN and et to talk about for their enjoyment. it is by no means exclusive to here but happens a lot, which is upsetting given how many of us would consider ourself to be woke and stuff

(this is a bit messy because i'm not in a great place rn but i can try to explain things better if anyone asks )

jaej wrote:im not going to mention dans sexuality ~~reveal~~ aside from this vague post because at this point i really cannot ignore the way that he shut down mentioning his bisexuality when he started to get more well known. in 2011 he could talk about having crushes on male fictional characters on tumblr and nobody cared. go forward a year and suddenly every slightly not 100% hetero comment he made got a load of attention drawn to it. "OH MY GOD does dan like boooooooys does he like phil omg are they together he is so BI IM SCREAMING" shit, plus the invasion of privacy that comes with any queer male making non sexual comments about attraction because people feel much more comfortable describing the private sexual lives of queer men when they wouldnt go into so much detail about anyone else.

basically theres a very clear link between him suddenly going quiet about sexuality mentions and the time when people started paying so much attention to it so whether or not the all caps comments under the video or on tumblr are meant to be nice, i just dont like them

Could that have anything to do with Dan going into the closet in 2012? Obviously people knew that he had identified as bi before him going no homo howell, so maybe that came from a place of feeling special or smart because they knew the truth.

Then more people came along and started saying to respect their privacy and identities and such, which would've been great if Dan had actually been straight. But now that Dan actually seems like he wants to be out, without making a big deal out of it, people for some reason are like "why can't people just accept that dan could be straight??!?" (I have witnessed this firsthand).

From what I've seen and heard, it seems like the tables have turned. Dan was trying to convince people he was straight and because of that, he now has to convince people that he's not straight.

I took a look at felucca's Dan Attraction playlist and within the last couple years, Dan has made mostly male attraction mentions. Dan obviously wants to be known for pretty much everything but his sexuality and doesn't want people to bring it up every time he makes a video, so that's why he doesn't really explicitly confirm it, but that seems to have backfired because of him not explicitly confirming it, people act crazy whenever he brings it up.

I don't even know what my exact point was here, but I hope it made sense.

I imagine Marianne didn't like any of them being filmed from a distance like that. I can't remember if the guys have said they don't like it, but the way little shots of them pop up, it can't be nice all the time. I know I'm in some vlogs and photos from Vidcon, and in a promo shot for a kids' coding thing, that's weird enough (I just don't think I've looked good in a photo since 2011 barring about one from this year).

Good point on the single and alone jokes, and about not actually meeting up with anyone. All the chats were very first steps saying hello etc, I doubt he went very far. He'd only get too deep and end up in trouble if he didn't actually mean to meet anyone anyway.

[offtopic]this is completely off topic sorry but i'd just like to say i'll be gone for about a week visiting my best friend who i havent seen in a year so if i don't post or whatnot that's why[/offtopic]