IDB

Mod note:

The new thread name poll was left open for three hours and at the time we're ending it the current vote has "our cherry blossom" in the lead, therefore we've adjusted the title accordingly. As a note, decisions like the one to hold a re-vote are made by the entire admin/moderation team with internal discussion between us happening behind the scenes.

In future, we will be sure to announce submission of suggestions to the suggestion thread earlier and keep the voting open longer, which will allow for a more extended “comment period” so that any issues with thread name suggestions can be raised before the fact. We see IDB as largely a self-moderating forum and our job is letting the forum set the tone, within the boundaries set by our rules. In this case the feelings in the forum took time to develop: the discomfort reached a level which we felt was appropriate to address. To users who did like the title, we hope you understand why we felt like a re-vote was the best option.

Whommel wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:34 pm Just to throw my two cents behind the soon to be old title. It quickly looks like everyone is against it because those are the ones who speak up. I personally liked it, it made me smile and I also voted for it. I find it very difficult to find the offense, I thinks it’s very innocent even knowing the backstory.

at least we get to keep a little bit of it in this new title

much more wholesome, not so fitting with 69 though..

ratlad wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 5:17 pm

Whommel wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:34 pm Just to throw my two cents behind the soon to be old title. It quickly looks like everyone is against it because those are the ones who speak up. I personally liked it, it made me smile and I also voted for it. I find it very difficult to find the offense, I thinks it’s very innocent even knowing the backstory.

at least we get to keep a little bit of it in this new title

much more wholesome, not so fitting with 69 though..

I almost suggested 'cheeky bum sex' but chickened out as thought it might be considered too rude .

DatCog wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 5:32 pm

ratlad wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 5:17 pm

Whommel wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:34 pm Just to throw my two cents behind the soon to be old title. It quickly looks like everyone is against it because those are the ones who speak up. I personally liked it, it made me smile and I also voted for it. I find it very difficult to find the offense, I thinks it’s very innocent even knowing the backstory.

at least we get to keep a little bit of it in this new title

much more wholesome, not so fitting with 69 though..

I almost suggested 'cheeky bum sex' but chickened out as thought it might be considered too rude .

I don't consider a lot to be rude since hardly anyone in the phandom holds back on those topics, but i guess there was a line that has been crossed

Not so exciting tweet from Dan while Twitter is experiencing technical difficulties.

I think cheeky bum sex would have been appropriate. It’s a card Phil played and read out loud in a gaming video (and one Dan read in the past with Tyler). But this is wholesome.

Thank you to the mods for the second poll and for future plans.

@annetamiau you seem to be generalizing all the individual members and what they may or may not find comfortable or appropriate personally into one mass. I was not comfortable with the teeth talk either and saw plenty others who weren’t.

Warning: This is more of a rant to myself to maybe look back on rather than adding anything coherent to the discussion.

Sooo.... I find this discussion about boundaries really interesting. I had a weird period a month or so ago, when I realized how wrong it felt to speak about dnp in a certain tone. It feels wrong to talk or see or even care too much about something that was meant to be private (not just the v-day video, in general) or to speculate about their sexualities. I don't want to encourage or start a discussion I believe they wouldn't want to read/I wouldn't want to read if I were in their shoes. For a week I thought really carefully before liking any Tumblr post if I was okay with them.

However, after I had this realization I've found it really hard to live by/keep in mind. You can count me in as someone who didn't like the earlier thread name, but at the same I have made many similar jokes. I just had to delete my Tumblr post about from a two weeks ago, because apparently I had already forgotten all my earlier thoughts. That makes me a bit of a hypocrite, but that's okay for me, living and learning.

We get what we're given and that where I feel like the line should be for all of us. Like Dan once tweeted, the lesson is we don't have to know everything and why. Speculations are fun though, and it would be boring here without them. How to find that balance? The pure nature of this thing makes it really hard for me to see where to draw the line in different cases. After writing this post, I'm still not sure.

DatCog wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 5:32 pm

ratlad wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 5:17 pm

Whommel wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:34 pm Just to throw my two cents behind the soon to be old title. It quickly looks like everyone is against it because those are the ones who speak up. I personally liked it, it made me smile and I also voted for it. I find it very difficult to find the offense, I thinks it’s very innocent even knowing the backstory.

at least we get to keep a little bit of it in this new title

much more wholesome, not so fitting with 69 though..

I almost suggested 'cheeky bum sex' but chickened out as thought it might be considered too rude .

I would have voted for that too, who doesn’t love ‘cheeky bum sex’

(What!?...It’s a great card...)

the mood for today: can't stop thinking about Dan's twitter like of that condo in Japan right after Phil said he'd (they'd) like to go back there after tour.......

I think it's great that you brought up this topic. The thing is: when people are behind a screen anonymously/using a nickname they don't filter themselves nearly as much and have a tendency to say such things, in such a way, that they never would in real life.

So if you (not you specifically, everybody in general) have any doubts about what counts as "too much", regarding talking about DP (or any other celebrities for that matter): imagine having your name and face attached to that post, imagine saying it to a group of people you know, would you still say, is it something you would own? Or is it a guilty pleasure, when you need to vent, a fantasy you want to fulfil this way in secret?

I think there's a reason why DPs Facebook pages are the tamest and then the deepest corners of tumblr are full of filth.

fieldoflovers wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 5:57 am danisnotonfirevyou1 uploaded today and this is just an appreciation post for them because their videos lead me down the phandom rabbit hole

This has been the highlight of my day! I love that vyou1 uploaded, I hope they continue to post more videos again.

oooffff.... Dan made his tumblr likes private.... is it for his ~aesthetic, or cause people were asking him about the "kinky" bunny phanart?
i feel bad. even though I didn't even @ him on anything or in the younow chat.
it's not a big deal though.

(it's funny how i suggest a controversial thread name that could potentially be hurtful, but then act confused when he privates his tumblr likes ahahaha)

EDIT: Nevermind???? i think my tumblr just glitched bc it's on mobile
carry on, ignore me.
my statement still stands though.

Regarding lurkers, from what i've seen, the number of guests on this forum is most of the time below 50, and it's most likely just members who read without logging in. I assume that the people that are on this forum already know, or lived through, much of the history of the phandom, and of Dan and Phil, since it's literally archived in the forum's D&P FAQ .

I think most people here are sensible, emphatic and love Dan and Phil even if they criticize or drag them jokingly sometimes. Like Dan said in a video you cross the line from being a casual fan of something and becoming by going online and googling about it.

You end up on forum because something about them resonated with you and want to understand it better. Or understand better the people who you are giving your support to.
Even with rolling of the eyes, the general sentiment is of support and encouragement for Dan and Phil.

ratlad wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 7:15 pm the mood for today: can't stop thinking about Dan's twitter like of that condo in Japan right after Phil said he'd (they'd) like to go back there after tour.......

*Sigh* same, though FYI it’s a temple. I saw someone saying it was an Air BNB, but unless you’re talking about something else... it’s a Buddhist temple.

Speaking of likes, Dan liked this today:
Also if there was a like button I’d certainly like George and so_cheesy’s posts.

malday wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 8:32 pm

Regarding lurkers, from what i've seen, the number of guests on this forum is most of the time below 50, and it's most likely just members who read without logging in. I assume that the people that are on this forum already know, or lived through, much of the history of the phandom, and of Dan and Phil, since it's literally archived in the forum's D&P FAQ .

I think most people here are sensible, emphatic and love Dan and Phil even if they criticize or drag them jokingly sometimes. Like Dan said in a video you cross the line from being a casual fan of something and becoming by going online and googling about it.

You end up on forum because something about them resonated with you and want to understand it better. Or understand better the people who you are giving your support to.
Even with rolling of the eyes, the general sentiment is of support and encouragement for Dan and Phil.

i meant *empathetic , i know how to English but not when i'm sleep deprived.

ratlad wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 8:30 pm oooffff.... Dan made his tumblr likes private.... is it for his ~aesthetic, or cause people were asking him about the "kinky" bunny phanart?
i feel bad. even though I didn't even @ him on anything or in the younow chat.
it's not a big deal though.

(it's funny how i suggest a controversial thread name that could potentially be hurtful, but then act confused when he privates his tumblr likes ahahaha)

EDIT: Nevermind???? i think my tumblr just glitched bc it's on mobile
carry on, ignore me.
my statement still stands though.

No, I think he did momentarily make them private earlier during the day because I saw quite a few people mentioning it on Tumblr. Maybe he was messing around on it and accidentally made them private and then realized what he did.

I'm glad Dan liked Jonathan's tweet, all of the queer eye cast are the absolute sweetest people.

malday wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 8:53 pm

malday wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 8:32 pm

Regarding lurkers, from what i've seen, the number of guests on this forum is most of the time below 50, and it's most likely just members who read without logging in. I assume that the people that are on this forum already know, or lived through, much of the history of the phandom, and of Dan and Phil, since it's literally archived in the forum's D&P FAQ .

I think most people here are sensible, emphatic and love Dan and Phil even if they criticize or drag them jokingly sometimes. Like Dan said in a video you cross the line from being a casual fan of something and becoming by going online and googling about it.

You end up on forum because something about them resonated with you and want to understand it better. Or understand better the people who you are giving your support to.
Even with rolling of the eyes, the general sentiment is of support and encouragement for Dan and Phil.

i meant *empathetic , i know how to English but not when i'm sleep deprived.

I mean, we can all be quite emphatic as well so it still worked.

autumnhearth wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 8:34 pm

ratlad wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 7:15 pm the mood for today: can't stop thinking about Dan's twitter like of that condo in Japan right after Phil said he'd (they'd) like to go back there after tour.......

*Sigh* same, though FYI it’s a temple. I saw someone saying it was an Air BNB, but unless you’re talking about something else... it’s a Buddhist temple.

ooohh okok yeah
still nice knowing that he's liking that stuff bc i feel like they're going back there soon

malday wrote: Fri Apr 06, 2018 8:32 pm Regarding lurkers, from what i've seen, the number of guests on this forum is most of the time below 50, and it's most likely just members who read without logging in. I assume that the people that are on this forum already know, or lived through, much of the history of the phandom, and of Dan and Phil, since it's literally archived in the forum's D&P FAQ .

I think most people here are sensible, emphatic and love Dan and Phil even if they criticize or drag them jokingly sometimes. Like Dan said in a video you cross the line from being a casual fan of something and becoming by going online and googling about it.

You end up on forum because something about them resonated with you and want to understand it better. Or understand better the people who you are giving your support to.
Even with rolling of the eyes, the general sentiment is of support and encouragement for Dan and Phil.

Just quoting because I agree with everything you said
That’s all I see mostly on IDB, support and encouragement. Yes there also is negativity sometimes but usually that is constructive criticism rather than “lol dan and phil”. When this site was made it was always something that we wanted to be a more positive place rather than just trashing them, and I’m glad that is something we have been able to achieve here. I really do appreciate the community that has grown here, it’s a special place.

Since Dan and Phil seem to have shot their social media load yesterday all in one go instead of spacing out the goodness (okay, Dan's rash wasn't good, but you know what I mean) I'll go ahead and drop a throwback in here. Someone on tumblr asked me earlier about Phil urging Dan not to go to the doctor when he had pnuemonia so I ended up rewatching (and timestamping) that entire 2016 liveshow. I hadn't remembered how in depth Phil got talking about it, but it was interesting. I wonder if he really has learned his lesson or if he still discourages Dan from going to the doctor? And whether he'd have considered the allergic reaction important enough to warrant going?

This is from July 2016. For context, it was after the US tour had wrapped (about a month prior, in fact) but before the Australian tour started. The video itself is under the cut -
- and here's the full quote:

22:04 - “Dan had pneumonia. How selfish. So he couldn’t say one sentence without coughing loads. Pneumonia’s quite serious, I just thought he had a cough. And I was actually the guy - I felt quite bad - because Dan was like, I’ve been coughing for three days, maybe I should see the doctor. And I was like, nahhh, people get coughs all the time, just get some cough medicine. You don’t need to see a doctor about it. But then like, day five, he was like - I’m gonna go to the doctor. And the doctor was like - uh, you’ve got pneumonia, have these antibiotics. I felt bad that I was like, don’t go to the doctor, people get coughs all the time.

I think that stems from a weird… it’s not like a fear, but I always have this feeling - which is really stupid - that if I go to the doctor I’m gonna be wasting their time because there’s people out there sicker than me. And you should never have that attitude, because if you feel something is wrong, just go to the doctor. Even if it’s embarrassing, they’ve seen it all before a thousand times so you’re not wasting their time. It’ll probably take about three minutes, you should just do it. So I’ve learned my lesson now, through Dan.”

I have thoughts on this subject!

It's interesting to me that Phil's own reservations about going to see a doctor translate to giving Dan advice.

As someone who rarely goes to the doctor, I'm a giant hypocrite who will badger my mom and friends to see a doctor if they're uncertain about it. It's easier to give someone advice than to do something yourself, and it has the added benefit of reassuring you that your family/friend is in good hands if you're a worrier.

But Phil's reasons for not seeing a doctor himself seem to be directly related to the advice he gave Dan, like Dan is an extension of Phil. Maybe that's what happens when you spend ~10 years living and working with a single other person? I can't speak to that at all, but I do find it interesting.

They both voluntarily got flu shots recently, which might indicate Phil actually is more willing to see a doctor now.

In a similar vein, I'm curious about Dan's behavior from that same time period. He said in a livestream that the worst day for his pneumonia was after filming the first Pokemon Go video. He seems to enjoy performative whining generally, yet he walked around London with untreated pneumonia and complained... that his legs hurt. What, Daniel?

thanks for typing that out @alittledizzy, i admit i also thought of it. i hope he really didn't just take an antihistamine and chose to skirt the truth slightly for not making the fandom worry/it's none of us business reasons. he's mentioned contact reactions before, years ago. breathing difficulty with a rash shows potential for full anaphylaxis in the future. he needs to identify that allergen, and even if a doctor can't straight away, needs to buy an epipen and start carrying it. especially when they're travelling soon.

@watsonian performative whinging, i love that
i suppose after weeks and weeks of feeling unwell, you do sort of just accept it in that the day-to-day status doesn't feel like it's changing. you just keep hoping your body will kick it soon? the danger of that being, yeah, pneumonia can kill you.

a friend pointed out to me that cherry blossoms aren't particularly common introduced species in most places, which i didn't realise, because they're quite hardy to climate changes. they're everywhere here (Australian city). idk about London, but that makes it even more sweet they bought one for their balcony. i'm enjoying Phil's confident, natural selfies lately.

watsonian wrote: Sat Apr 07, 2018 12:30 am In a similar vein, I'm curious about Dan's behavior from that same time period. He said in a livestream that the worst day for his pneumonia was after filming the first Pokemon Go video. He seems to enjoy performative whining generally, yet he walked around London with untreated pneumonia and complained... that his legs hurt. What, Daniel?

I can't speak for Dan specifically but I've had pneumonia twice and both times didn't realize it until the doctor diagnosed me so it is possible that he was just generally run down from the tour and didn't notice. I am surprised that Dan doesn't whine more when he's sick since he does seem like a pretty expressive person but to his audience he is usually pretty quiet about illnesses.

I am glad that they both look a lot healthier before the start of this tour and I trust that they've prepared themselves for the next 4-5 months because their schedule looks pretty stacked.

my mom had pneumonia and it affected her legs, she had to be rushed to the hospital because it spread into an infection. idk if that's the reason why dan's legs were hurting, but it could be related.

ratlad wrote: Sat Apr 07, 2018 3:03 am my mom had pneumonia and it affected her legs, she had to be rushed to the hospital because it spread into an infection. idk if that's the reason why dan's legs were hurting, but it could be related.

I had no idea that could happen! That sounds scary. I interpreted Dan's saying his legs hurt as a garden variety 'what is an exercise?' joke, but it could have been that he was feeling generally run down.

Am I the only person who thinks popping an antihistamine for an allergic reaction is normal? even when I went to the doctor about my skin I got told just to take antihistamines and was never offered an allergy test, I've had to work out triggers on my own.

I'm also sort of eye-rolling at how it feels like every time Dan breathes it gets backlash. Let the guy live.

I'm currently watching Dans liveshow. If that man designed shoes - fuck me... take my money.

(this post is sponsored by anxiety - I'm meeting a friend I haven't seen in five years in an hour and im so scared)